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Am I the asshole for refusing to be around my husband's grandparents, and keeping my kids away from them too?

I (26 F) and my husband (31 M) have two children, a daughter who is 2 and a son who was born in February. My husband's family is very Catholic, and his grandparents are the most devout. 

When my husband and I had our daughter, we were not married. From the beginning of my pregnancy his Grandma insisted every time we were around her that we get married at a courthouse. We refused because we didn’t want to be forced into marriage because I was pregnant, we wanted to do it on our own terms. I chalked her behavior up to her religion and brushed it off, but she kept getting more and more aggressive. Saying things like “you’re the trouble that got my grandson into a corner” when that simply wasn’t true. She even made me cry on multiple occasions. 

After our wedding (which I converted to Catholicism for) we found out we were going to have our son. When we told his grandparents, his grandma's first comment was “at least this one will be born right” like my daughter was garbage. She has made several more comments about my daughter being wrong or less than. 

My daughter is still my husband's child, and I have told my husband multiple times how much it hurts me and how mad it would make him for her to look down on my daughter because it wasn’t planned and happened before we were married. 

Now I refuse to take either of my kids to see them because of how she has treated me and the way she talks about my daughter. My husband is insisting I change my mind because she may not be around much longer but I still don’t agree. Am I the asshole?