Me (female 23) and my partner (non-binary 25) got engaged on Sunday. It wasn’t extravagant, I had been working up the courage for weeks and it just felt like the right time. We were cuddling in bed and I popped the question. We decided to hold off telling anyone until we staged photos because I worked long shifts the following couple days.
We staged photos, then afterwards went to my parents house to hang out. I already told my partner I had no intention of telling them personally. It made me extremely uncomfortable and nervous because the relationship I have with my parents has never been great. I’ve forgotten a large amount of my childhood due to the trauma they caused me.
When I was 14 a student claimed me and another girl had sex in the bathroom (we did not, she was crying and I left my class to comfort her) so the school told my parent. They grounded me for about 2 years, and I was never trusted to spend the night at any one’s house anymore. This is one major factor in my not wanting to share my Engagement to my parents.
They also completely disregarded every time I tried to bring up anxiety and depression. Yelled at me for it, it claimed I don’t know what it’s really like because my dad has been through war. I’ve never felt comfortable talking to them. To the point where I hid any relationship from them. I even dated someone for the majority of high school and never told them, because of the fear of it backlash.
So I got engaged, staged photos, and posted them on Facebook. I immediately get texts from both my mom and dad saying how “why didn’t you tell us, it was fucked up not to” and I still regret nothing. I don’t even want them at my wedding, to the point where part of me doesn’t want a wedding due to feeling like I HAVE to invite them. My mom's last text said how I hurt my dad's feelings. I just told them straight up “I don’t feel comfortable talking to you about intimate parts of my life” and I haven’t heard anything back.
Am I the asshole?