I (22M) and Fiancé (25FM) are in the midst of a big life change as she is currently 7 months pregnant. We lived in a small apartment downtown and did not have a lot of room as we foster senior dogs and have 2 of our own. Having a baby in this environment would not only be tight, but also dangerous as it’s not very well insulated and gets extremely cold in winter/hot in the summer. We decided that we wanted to look for a house nearby that would have room for us and our dogs. My parents suggested that we move into their “rental” house that they owned. This sounded like a great idea as we would do a rent to own deal and made it much easier to become homeowners.
So, here’s the fun part…. My brother (30M) currently lives in the house. He as-well is expecting 2 months after us, and is planning on moving to the east coast to be with his gf(27F). We had a plan in place that we would move in on the 31st of the month, as we could only get our place rented out for the 1st of the month. This seemed to be fine at first as we all came to an agreement that my brother would move in with my parents for a couple days until he moved on the 4th of the next month. For the next month prior to moving day, I packed and brought our belongings over to the house and filled the garage which was never used. My father and I cleaned it out and I slowly moved in our stuff EVERY day until the final day of moving.
My brother started to become a bit annoyed as I was constantly at the house. We had a discussion earlier in the month with both our parents and came to an agreement that we could put our furniture and blankets inside in a corner so they did not get wet or musty sitting in the garage, as it had a leak. 2 days before the final move, I was bringing over our big furniture and blanket boxes. I asked him where I could put them and he was livid. Saying that “it’s still his house and that he didn’t have any room to put any of that stuff in it”. He told us to “fit it into the garage”, and I told him it was not possible as the garage was full anyway. This created an argument but I still managed to get everything inside the house.
Let me preface by saying, he is moving 20+ hours east and leaves on the 4th. When I first walked into the house on the 29th, nothing was packed. The house looked as if it was completely unchanged.
Between my parents and I messaging him and having in person conversations to start packing, he simply stated he would when he wanted to as he had planned to pack from the 31st to the 3rd.
On the day of the move, we all got there at 730am; after moving the final big things from our apartment an hour prior. My brother has been telling us that he had started packing on the 30th and that he had gotten a lot done, he ended up going away to a business party on the 31st and was not even in the same city for the whole day. The house was about 50% packed, and the front living room was full of his stuff. Every main floor room, bathroom and basement still was not even touched, as if he still was planning on living there. At this point, I said fuck it and started moving our stuff in to all the rooms that were already empty. I asked him where he was and why he wasn’t packed up and he said he was doing the best he could and stated that he was busy. I had, had enough and said. “You should have been packed already, we can’t move in”. This caused him to absolutely blow up.
Physical threats to me were made and I was so confused as I was just stating the obvious, as he had failed so many times to communicate with our family and us, and let us all down in this very important time. At this point I gave up trying to be nice and patient, as I had been the whole time, despite him not being understanding or in any way accommodating to us. We ended up taking everything out of the kitchen drawers and cabinets and putting it into boxes, we at least labeled it and put it into the pile he had already started. We also did this with all the washrooms and the basement, mud room and front hall. We locked all the doors as I was scared he would do something to me or my fiancé.
He ended up showing up later in the afternoon, and continued to blow up on me and my family as we “didn’t” have the right to be moving his stuff out and “taking over his home”. My parents tried to explain to him for the 100th time that it was “not his home” as he is a renter, and that the deal was you move out on the 31st, when they move in.
He then began to tell us that he “knows how the market works, and that he is paying rent until the 4th” when he leaves. We explained that we were taking over the rent on the 31st as intended, but he would not hear it and kept telling us that we were wrong and he could get us in trouble for this.
To finalize the story, he moved in with my parents for the four days, and came back everyday to finish packing around our stuff. My fiancé and I even helped him. He moved out on the 4th and left behind piles of shit that he “couldn’t take” E.g: treadmill, chairs, and tables. We are no longer on talking terms and my parents are beyond upset with him. He thinks this whole ordeal was all my fault and that I have been selfish and not understanding of his situation. I told him he was the one being selfish as we had gone over this so many times to make sure it was as smooth as possible for both of us. He said that “we should have gotten our place rented for the 4th and moved in after that” but I told him that it didn’t work like that for us.
So , am I the asshole for kicking him out of HIS house before he wanted to?