I’ve been with my husband for 18 years, we have two children together. We are successful, have great jobs, own our own house and have worked hard as we started with nothing and have built a great life together. My sister in laws have partners who are not great at contributing and one of them ( brother in law ) rarely comes even for family dinners despite living on the same property as my in laws.
Over the years my in laws have said that I needed a prenup to marry my husband ( once again we literally had nothing asset wise at the time ) which I flat out refused and said forget getting married then and my husband did say something to them and we got married anyways. My FIL made a comment when I was on the fence about having children stating that my husband should knock up my tenant at the time. He has also stated if we don’t come for Christmas over the years that he will cut my husband out of their will. Despite all of this I have shown up for this family for 18 years, birthdays, Christmases, anything that has been ever asked of me and more. I’m thoughtful and considerate and have prioritized their family’s demands over my own parents at times.
Fast forward to now where my FIL booked a trip to Disneyland with my MIL, SIL, niece, my husband and older daughter only 6 weeks out and didn’t actually invite any of the partners including myself and my one year old. I’m absolutely furious and hurt that the only vacation in 18 years ( aside from my wedding ) that they have gone on was only with this “select few” as their family. I literally want nothing to do with them anymore and have decided to cut ties with them for the time being as I’m not sure if this can be fixed given all of the shit I’ve put up with over the years.
I’m also furious that even though I voiced how upset I was my husband didn’t have my back and just went along with whatever they said cause they’re his parents. I feel betrayed and like if his priority is to them vs. the family we’ve created then I’m just done. When I confronted my MIL she just made excuses for my FIL to which I said that they are selfish as they had no regard for others and she basically said I should be ok and they didn’t intend it to come across this way.
My FIL has tried to apologize but in a back handed way as one point I was so mad I said I was going to go and force myself on them anyways and decided not to as I was so mad it seemed like a waste to spend time on a vacation like this. When he apologized he said that it was “my choice” to “cancel” and not come which added insult to injury. I don’t even know what to do moving forward and currently don’t want to have a relationship with my in laws since they can’t respect the mother of their grandchildren, so am I the asshole or being overly insensitive?!?