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am I the asshole for being mad about a surprise party?

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They go on to say onto my story.

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it's from years ago, but I still get mixed feedback whenever I tell it.

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Hm.

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at the time I 29 year old female had been dating my then boyfriend 25 year old

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male for two years, we were both living with our parents, basically broke and had

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just opened a business with our friends, Ellie 28, female and Janet 26 female.

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we were in debt looking at a few months, less years of hard work.

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It goes without saying that I wasn't the least bit excited about turning 30.

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I felt like I had to achieve nothing in life.

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hadn't settled down.

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Family-wise nor work with.

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I felt quite depressed, plus I hate birthdays in general.

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So that was going to be really hard.

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My boyfriend was aware that I also hate surprises and

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surprise parties in particular.

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So I was a bit taken aback when he told me he was going to take me out for

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dinner for my birthday, just the two of us to a place that he had chosen.

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He never showed much initiative with our relationship.

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So I was excited about it and bragged with anyone who would listen about the

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romantic dinner we were going to have.

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That's nice.

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It's nice that she's excited about it, but it's, I could see

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where it's going and I'm sad.

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Yeah.

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so when the day came, he blindfolded me and started driving something felt off.

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So I casually asked, we're not driving to Ellie's house.

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Are we?

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You bet.

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We were turns out Ellie and Janet had organized a surprise party and

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basically bullied him into saying.

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Who doesn't like a party.

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I told him off that night, mainly because I would've liked him to

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give me the heads up so I could play along, at the end of the party.

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Elliot casually drops the bomb that she's pregnant.

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Oh,

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Yeah.

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kind of not

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really your party.

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Yeah.

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Pretty shitty,

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let me throw a party that you don't want say it's about you plot twist.

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it's about me.

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double surprise.

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I mean, good for her that she's pregnant but you could pick a different day.

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Yeah.

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You can announce that, any other time.

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Yeah.

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So she goes on to say, which means the bulk of the newly opened business will

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fall on mine and Janet's shoulders.

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I couldn't disguise my lack of enthusiasm at that point, but didn't say much.

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And we left shortly after.

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For years after that night, Janet and Ellie hinted at the fact that I

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acted on grateful after throwing a whole party for you, you're not even

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excited about it was a quote from them.

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they also straight up told me that my reaction to the pregnancy announcement,

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wasn't how a friend is supposed to react.

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So was I the asshole?

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no,

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I want

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to say like, if you're close, you're admitting that your friends, like you're

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close enough to throw a surprise party and open up a business, and you're mad

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at how she reacted to the pregnancy because y'all are friends y'all should

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be good enough friends to know that she doesn't like surprise parties.

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I'd say the boyfriends, he's an asshole, but he's less of an asshole.

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You know what I mean?

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is caught between a rock and a hard place.

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yeah.

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You're trying to impress the friends and you're trying to like go along

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with plans and, and be part of things.

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So I G I get, maybe he felt stuck, but he should have definitely given you a

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heads up, not get your hopes up for a romantic dinner and just a dash it away.

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I hope he took her out a date

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Yeah.

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he definitely owed you a date after that.