Santa Claus | North Pole's Fatal 4-Way
Sup Wikimaniacs?! It's yuh boy, Sean, back at it again. It's been a while since I've hosted/podcasted so my apologies for being so rusty!! In this episode we talk about the man who performs multiple BandEs all around the world within 24hrs.... Sinterklaas...err, I mean, Father Chri... no, Odin?! Listen in to find out! Consider being a Patron! The biggest benefit to you Wi…
Apple Podcasts
Spotify
Amazon Music
Google Podcasts
Overcast
Castro
PocketCasts
iHeartRadio
Deezer
Podchaser
RSS Feed
Sup Wikimaniacs?! It's yuh boy, Sean, back at it again. It's been a while since I've hosted/podcasted so my apologies for being so rusty!!
In this episode we talk about the man who performs multiple B&Es all around the world within 24hrs.... Sinterklaas...err, I mean, Father Chri... no, Odin?! Listen in to find out!
Consider being a Patron!
The biggest benefit to you Wikimaniacs is that we have a combined Patreon! Signing up for only $5 will not only get you access to this show a week early and ad-free, but it will also get you a week early and ad-free episodes of Let's Start A Cult and The Dumb, Found Dead! A god damn it that's not all because you will also get access to John's new series Kaba, where he dives into cryptids, spooky stories, and creep folklore.
So sign up today and help support yuh bois in starting something fun and exciting!
Follow Us For Memes:
RESOURCES
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Santa_Claus
https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/i4r81a/its_more_than_likely_that_covid19_will_still_be/
https://www.reddit.com/r/cursedcomments/comments/q4wfol/cursed_santa/
https://www.reddit.com/r/aww/comments/7f8iz3/they_saw_this_guy_at_walmart_tonight_with_a_cart/
https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/92vsvv/people_who_have_been_santa_at_the_mall_whats_the/
Mentioned in this episode:
True Classic
Get shirts that actually fit and get 25% off using our code 'Reddit'!
Audible
Sign up to get access to the largest collection of Audiobooks, Podcasts, and Audible Originals today! Click the link to get 1-month free or 3-months free for Prime Members!
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Oh shit.
Speaker:What is up Wicker maniacs?
Speaker:I know you just heard me three weeks ago.
Speaker:Uh, but it has been a whole solid month and a half since I've recorded
Speaker:a podcast, some shit like that.
Speaker:Uh, so bear with me.
Speaker:This may be worse than usual, which is hard to believe.
Speaker:Uh, it's your boy, Sean.
Speaker:Welcome back.
Speaker:I'm hosting another episode.
Speaker:First one back.
Speaker:They said, you know what?
Speaker:We'll have Sean go first.
Speaker:He hasn't been in a month.
Speaker:We've been guesting.
Speaker:We know how to do this, but fuck him.
Speaker:Anyways.
Speaker:He's going to go.
Speaker:Welcome to read it on Wiki, where we research things,
Speaker:crappily using Reddit and Wiki.
Speaker:We have a website with all our links throughout it on wiki.com.
Speaker:That's thank God for that, because I do not know our individual links
Speaker:or ads or anything like that.
Speaker:It's your boy, Sean.
Speaker:Second time.
Speaker:Here we go.
Speaker:John.
Speaker:Josh, say hi, please save me.
Speaker:Holy crap.
Speaker:I have to say.
Speaker:Not your worst intro.
Speaker:God, definitely not the worst, but it's it's it's up there.
Speaker:When are we going to get merged?
Speaker:That's uh, it's your boy, Sean.
Speaker:When are we going to get this true?
Speaker:We got to get those shoes one design it.
Speaker:Yeah, I don't do anything else for us.
Speaker:Huh?
Speaker:My bed.
Speaker:If I, if I wasn't recording on a $30 mic that I bought off of Amazon,
Speaker:maybe you could hear my heartbeat.
Speaker:So very fast, uh, very anxious, very scared.
Speaker:Uh, but I'm trying to do a lay up easy episode this week just to get
Speaker:me back in the swing of things.
Speaker:Oh, you're doing a basketball.
Speaker:No lay up.
Speaker:Oh, come on.
Speaker:Don't do go there.
Speaker:No, I don't do goddamn punts.
Speaker:That's not a pun.
Speaker:That's like a lead-in, you know, I guess it's a fun play on words that
Speaker:either way I, I hate that shit anyways.
Speaker:Back to what I'm doing.
Speaker:And then why are you here?
Speaker:Good question, Sean.
Speaker:Actually didn't get married.
Speaker:He just left for a month.
Speaker:He needed a
Speaker:health.
Speaker:You know what I'm saying?
Speaker:But wicked maniacs.
Speaker:What I'm not going to ask you.
Speaker:You can't answer John Josh today.
Speaker:We're going to be talking.
Speaker:I'm fucking fucked up, dude.
Speaker:I don't know what to say.
Speaker:All right, guys, I'm reeling it back in.
Speaker:I'm back.
Speaker:We're here.
Speaker:We need to get, you can maniac.
Speaker:I need another booster shot.
Speaker:We can maniacs today's episode.
Speaker:The man we all know and love.
Speaker:Maybe who knows.
Speaker:We have different relationships with the guy who knows.
Speaker:Uh, I'm doing Santa Claus cause 85 days from now.
Speaker:It'll be Christmas and, uh, that's his big day.
Speaker:All right.
Speaker:So Josh, John, what are your thoughts on Santa Claus?
Speaker:What experiences have you ever sat on a lab?
Speaker:I have a moral center.
Speaker:I was going to say, oh no, eight lap.
Speaker:I have second lap.
Speaker:Not even Santo.
Speaker:Really?
Speaker:Um, yeah.
Speaker:I, uh, experiences with Santa's.
Speaker:Um, I mean, yeah, it's, it's been a while since I've thought about it.
Speaker:Um, but, uh, he's a, I did a whole episode last year on let's start a
Speaker:cult where I trashed, talked to him and considered him a cult leaders.
Speaker:I'd say it might be on the, it might be on the naughty list for that one,
Speaker:but that's a, that's where I'm at with.
Speaker:And I can vaguely remember sitting on Santa's lap when I was a little
Speaker:kid in the Philippines and I felt bad for a guy cause it's super
Speaker:humid over there and super tropical.
Speaker:Oh God.
Speaker:So homeboy must have had some swamp as balls, like under that suit.
Speaker:So, and it was disgusting.
Speaker:So you saw that.
Speaker:It probably did.
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:I just picture it like a wet sweaty Santa Claus.
Speaker:Imagine I'm, I'm dripping wet in a tank top and shorts in the Philippines.
Speaker:I don't know how you all as Santa Claus costume.
Speaker:Yeah, that's it.
Speaker:Wasn't Santa Claus.
Speaker:He was just a homeless guy.
Speaker:They put them it's cheaper that way.
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:They're like, just tell them what you want for Christmas, John.
Speaker:I don't know to guys.
Speaker:All right, let's get straight into it.
Speaker:Wicked maniacs.
Speaker:I promise these guys.
Speaker:It's a short episode every week that I record, and it's always, never a short
Speaker:episode, but this time, this time.
Speaker:I think it's a short one.
Speaker:All right, we're done wrap it up.
Speaker:But
Speaker:as with all of my episodes, I do the first half in Wiki the second half and read it.
Speaker:So let's go ahead and jump into Wikipedia right now.
Speaker:All right.
Speaker:So Santa clause also known as father Christmas or St.
Speaker:Nicholas or Saint Nick or Kris Kringle, or simply Santa is a legendary
Speaker:character originating in Western Christian culture, who is said to
Speaker:bring gifts on Christmas Eve of toys and candy to well-behaved children
Speaker:and either coal or nothing to naughty.
Speaker:He has said to accomplish this with the aid of Christmas ELLs who make
Speaker:the toys in his workshop at the north pole and flying reindeer who
Speaker:pull his sleigh through the air.
Speaker:The modern character of Sante is based on traditions surrounding
Speaker:the historical Saint Nicholas, the English figure of father Christmas
Speaker:and the Dutch figure of Sinterklaas.
Speaker:Alright, so there then Wikipedia goes into a physical description of Santa.
Speaker:That is particularly necessary for the wicked maniacs white guy with
Speaker:a beard fat read the didn't the red come from Coca-Cola later on.
Speaker:And, uh, uh, it was like a marketing campaign.
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:Like, um, they used them back in.
Speaker:I'm going to say the forties, they used it in a marketing campaign and
Speaker:they made him read before it was a.
Speaker:Uh, they didn't describe him as a certain, certain color of clothes.
Speaker:So we may or may not get into that.
Speaker:Who knows because well, no script, uh, going strictly off the dome and what
Speaker:Wikipedia has written down for me.
Speaker:So I decided we should talk about since Santa is a big word here,
Speaker:let me know if I'm using it right.
Speaker:Amalgamation.
Speaker:I'm out with different characters.
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:That's a word, mark.
Speaker:You know, the vibes means kind of like a fucking, you know, a
Speaker:mix, you know what I'm saying?
Speaker:Go fruit punch.
Speaker:You know what I'm saying?
Speaker:So we're going to talk about what makes up Santa Claus, the
Speaker:different characters that inspired and how he became who he is today.
Speaker:Alright, here we go.
Speaker:So first off, obviously say Nicholas, uh, I know John and Josh have
Speaker:varying views on Catholic people.
Speaker:Uh, I'm Catholic, which explains their hatred towards me.
Speaker:Uh, no, that's not it to John, but you very openly have been
Speaker:like, but not really well.
Speaker:Yeah, because they touched children like weirdo.
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:I'd like to clarify not all of them, but not all of them.
Speaker:Okay.
Speaker:There you go.
Speaker:Enough that it's concerning.
Speaker:I very, I very famously do not touch children, maniacs.
Speaker:Not me, but still am Catholic, but yeah, say Nick, uh, let's get back into that.
Speaker:My goal for his episode is to rattle Sean as much as possible
Speaker:because I know he just got back.
Speaker:So I kind of want that, but I want to build up that anxiety.
Speaker:Look at maniacs.
Speaker:I truly, truly believed that I was going second here yet.
Speaker:If it peek behind the screen, we batch.
Speaker:Uh, so, you know, I'm usually second, I let them do their thing, you
Speaker:know, kind of get back in the vibes.
Speaker:No, they want to fucking throw me in the deep end.
Speaker:And, uh, this is what you get wicked maniacs.
Speaker:This is don't blame me.
Speaker:This is your fault.
Speaker:Hey, I'm just going sequentially, your episode 23.
Speaker:I got next.
Speaker:So wouldn't it make sense for you to, I get the day off?
Speaker:All I know is y'all been doing this.
Speaker:I stopped for a month and a half.
Speaker:It's very hard to jump back in anyways.
Speaker:Sweet shackles.
Speaker:Oh, now I'm scared.
Speaker:I have a question.
Speaker:I just want her to tell you off.
Speaker:I love the show
Speaker:Rouse, John, and his episode.
Speaker:Like always good luck, John has that.
Speaker:Oh, apparently it's the best one right now.
Speaker:So jokes on you.
Speaker:But when I left, I was number one in Finland.
Speaker:I was on top of the world.
Speaker:Now look at you.
Speaker:I'm married again.
Speaker:I'm married man.
Speaker:About to host the best episode of Reddit on Wiki we've ever had.
Speaker:Ready?
Speaker:We're starting a WhatsUp WCA maniacs.
Speaker:It's boyish.
Speaker:Fuck me.
Speaker:All right.
Speaker:Say Nicholas.
Speaker:All right.
Speaker:So say Nick was from the Roman empire, AKA sort of in where Turkey is now.
Speaker:He was famous for being the patron Saint of archers, salient sailors, children,
Speaker:pawn brokers, and prostitutes did not know there was a patron Saint for prostitutes.
Speaker:Did know that.
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:He is the patron Saint of prostitutes.
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:I did not know that.
Speaker:So he's very famous for.
Speaker:Giving prostitutes dowries or, uh, had to Google what a dowry is.
Speaker:Cause I've been an idiot, but it's pretty much a payment of property
Speaker:or money that way they don't have to be prostitutes anymore.
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:So they could basically buy they're like get out of the prostitute business.
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:So he was known for giving gifts.
Speaker:So I guess that's why he became kind of.
Speaker:So saints have like their day, I guess the Catholic church
Speaker:recognizes each Saint gets a day.
Speaker:So St.
Speaker:Nick's day was on December 6th and then it was kind of a, a tradition around the
Speaker:middle ages on December 6th to exchange gifts with everybody that you care
Speaker:about and love and all of that stuff.
Speaker:Uh, later homeboy, uh, Martin Luther, uh, very staunchly
Speaker:against Catholics, very famous.
Speaker:Uh, the biggest hater of Catholics decided that he would move say Nick's day, uh, on
Speaker:Christmas, that way they have their own day and that they would still give gifts.
Speaker:And he was the one that made it more popular to focus on gifting
Speaker:children and not really adults.
Speaker:Um, fun fact, uh, my family is actually Protestant, so.
Speaker:Hey, not me necessarily, but Protestant is just Christian.
Speaker:That's not Catholic, right?
Speaker:Uh, there's some differences.
Speaker:There's just not as like hardcore, I would say like, yeah.
Speaker:My girlfriend is Catholic and we went to her church and Ooh, there's
Speaker:a lot of standing up and down.
Speaker:We don't do crackers that Protestant church either.
Speaker:So, or whatever those things be busted and do it.
Speaker:I love those things.
Speaker:The communion, the communion, a little blood of Jesus Christ.
Speaker:Be fucking bumped, Ambrose, five stars on Yelp, maybe, you know, the
Speaker:vibes Jesus knew what he was doing.
Speaker:I remember people making jokes when I was a young.
Speaker:Oh shit.
Speaker:Like Catholic church is like a fucking workout.
Speaker:Cause you're fucking kneeling, standing, sitting down like all in an hour.
Speaker:It's like, yeah, well they didn't say that didn't fucking exist back then.
Speaker:It was awkward.
Speaker:Cause I went there.
Speaker:I'd never been like, and I had no Protestant church
Speaker:in like fucking 20 years.
Speaker:I go in there, like up and down and I'm just sitting there.
Speaker:I'm like what's going on?
Speaker:Oh shit.
Speaker:Oh yeah.
Speaker:We just had, uh, we, we had a full on mass as part of like our wedding ceremony.
Speaker:And like all our friends that aren't Catholic, we're like, oh shit.
Speaker:Oh, oh, like every 30 minutes.
Speaker:They said that inside the church.
Speaker:Oh, shit, shit.
Speaker:A lot of lightning bolts coming down.
Speaker:All right.
Speaker:So that's St.
Speaker:Nick and his inspiration of Santa Claus.
Speaker:Then we're going to two thirds of Santa.
Speaker:We're going to father Christmas.
Speaker:He was made, uh, as far back as six.
Speaker:Daddy daddy X miss.
Speaker:Oh, by the way, we're going to get to this later, but I was trying to
Speaker:find fanfiction for this episode.
Speaker:And there was one that was the most descript.
Speaker:Like I felt not comfortable reading it and making even bad.
Speaker:If you're not comfortable, I was going to say to descript and possibly left to the
Speaker:interpretation of like, uh, under age.
Speaker:Oh, it was so like, they didn't say, but it liked the vibes they were giving.
Speaker:Well, you reported that like a high school student with like a mall Santa.
Speaker:And I was like, no, no, no.
Speaker:There's so many better ones you could do.
Speaker:Like there's the whole mommy kissing Santa.
Speaker:You could absolutely go into a whole thing about that.
Speaker:Mom.
Speaker:That's legal taste.
Speaker:Grandma, grandma got ran over by a reindeer.
Speaker:Oh, you know what I'm saying?
Speaker:Hoke.
Speaker:I call him Rudolph my God.
Speaker:But anyways, I had to not read that I was reading.
Speaker:So I started reading it and I was like, okay, yeah, this might be the one.
Speaker:And then it got to like specific details and I was like,
Speaker:Nope, got to get out of here.
Speaker:Real.
Speaker:That's actually what happened?
Speaker:Sean went to jail for the last month.
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:You're going to sort of watch lists.
Speaker:I wrote some kind of weird shit about Santa and then I got put in jail who knew.
Speaker:All right, going back on daddy Xmas.
Speaker:All right.
Speaker:So father Christmas dates as far back as 16th century in England, during the reign
Speaker:of Henry the eighth, he was pictured as a large man in green or Scarlet robes.
Speaker:So maybe not Coca-Cola C well, oh, I mean, Scarlet and, and green is not
Speaker:like the bright red that we see today.
Speaker:You know what I mean?
Speaker:Scarlet.
Speaker:Oh, yeah, it's red.
Speaker:It's just not the bright red that you come on.
Speaker:Google Sarah.
Speaker:Now I'm just like blood red looking like burgundy early.
Speaker:It's darker, right?
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:Kind of like yours.
Speaker:Right?
Speaker:What are you wearing right now?
Speaker:The beanie.
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:Yes.
Speaker:Yep, yep, yep, yep.
Speaker:Yep.
Speaker:Fuck me.
Speaker:I lost where I was reading.
Speaker:Here we go.
Speaker:All right.
Speaker:So father Christmas was a type of fight.
Speaker:Did not know that was the word.
Speaker:Was typified the spirit of good cheer at Christmas, bringing peace, joy, good food
Speaker:and wind and revelry as England no longer kept the feast day of Saint Nicholas
Speaker:on December 6th, the father Christmas celebration was moved to December
Speaker:25th to coincide with Christmas day.
Speaker:So pretty much what he looks like is a swole Santa's uh, younger
Speaker:has brown hair, um, has the robot, but looks like no clothes.
Speaker:Oh, and the whole dam and either the robe is lined with the fur and
Speaker:it's either green or red, but he's kinda legitimately daddy Xmas.
Speaker:He's he's kinda good looking, you know what I'm saying?
Speaker:We follow him in the chest.
Speaker:We call him daddy Klaus.
Speaker:There you go.
Speaker:Daddy Klaus, bro.
Speaker:All right.
Speaker:So the third and final.
Speaker:Part of the, a fraction that is Santa is center Kloss.
Speaker:So in Netherlands, uh, in the Netherlands and Belgium, the character
Speaker:of Santa Claus competes with that of center clause based on St.
Speaker:Nick.
Speaker:So essentially he is, uh, looks like Santa, but writing a white hole.
Speaker:And he has more of like a Pope hat instead of a Santa hat.
Speaker:Okay.
Speaker:So that's, that's that?
Speaker:That's what.
Speaker:Dude you remember that show?
Speaker:Fucking what was that show?
Speaker:Shout out.
Speaker:Spike TV.
Speaker:When I was young.
Speaker:Yes.
Speaker:Imagine father Christmas versus Santa's versus center.
Speaker:Sinterklaas triple threat.
Speaker:Triple threat.
Speaker:Actually, I, I fucking lie.
Speaker:There's a, there's a fourth.
Speaker:So this is fatal four.
Speaker:Four-way now fatal four way.
Speaker:Here we am.
Speaker:According to this, even before say Nick, and even before father Christmas,
Speaker:the don't want to get the, uh, country wrong, or I may be racist.
Speaker:I don't want to do that Germanic.
Speaker:So German modern that's right.
Speaker:All right.
Speaker:So in modern day, Germany, they celebrated, uh, They celebrate it.
Speaker:A mid winter event called Yule.
Speaker:Numerous traditions were absorbed from Yuletide celebrations
Speaker:into modern day Christmas.
Speaker:During this period, supernatural and ghostly occurrences were set to increase
Speaker:in frequency, such as the wild hunt, a ghostly procession throughout the sky.
Speaker:The leader of the wild hunt is frequently attested as the God.
Speaker:Bearing many names, the names Joel near meaning you'll figure and long
Speaker:bore apologies, meaning long beard and old Norse Odin's role during the UW
Speaker:Yuletide period has been theorized as having influenced concepts of Saint
Speaker:Nicholas and a variety of facets, including his long white beard and
Speaker:his gray horse for nightly rides.
Speaker:This shit sounds like the plot of the way.
Speaker:Oh, true dude.
Speaker:What's your three, the wild hunt.
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:Okay.
Speaker:Funny, funny story about the wild hunt.
Speaker:So I, I play D and D just not frequently.
Speaker:So I don't know if I should ever use that in past tense or not,
Speaker:but we went on like a break of not playing D and D for a while.
Speaker:So I was like, ah, fuck it.
Speaker:I'll buy the Witcher.
Speaker:That's like close enough, right?
Speaker:Yeah, that's pretty good.
Speaker:So I bought it on the switch and then I just never had the
Speaker:time to play it just because.
Speaker:Life or whatever.
Speaker:And then, uh, my wife went on her bachelorette trip and I was like,
Speaker:oh, I have a weekend by myself.
Speaker:Let me fucking throw on the Witcher and eat some edibles, dude.
Speaker:I fucking, I ate.
Speaker:10 milligram edibles and turn on the Witcher.
Speaker:And I was like, this is a lot the opening scene where they're
Speaker:fucking running in the woods and there's like a bird or some shit.
Speaker:I was like, this is wild.
Speaker:It's wild.
Speaker:And then like the tutorial is when I kinda lost it.
Speaker:So like after the moving part, I'm actually having to play thing.
Speaker:I was like, this is too much.
Speaker:So you didn't see the part.
Speaker:So you didn't see a part where he, they were both straddling the unicorn.
Speaker:No.
Speaker:I, I think I just got out of like, I think I just saw like the, the little
Speaker:girl get kidnapped or some shit like that.
Speaker:So literally the beginning, like all the reading, I was,
Speaker:my eyes were focused so hard.
Speaker:I was like, holy fuck shit.
Speaker:For the longest time playing.
Speaker:You know how, when you press a button and you do the Witcher senses, and
Speaker:then he starts talking like monotone.
Speaker:I S I played the Witcher probably like 300 hours of my life.
Speaker:I'll leave that game.
Speaker:I love that game at Skyrim.
Speaker:I can play those games over and over again.
Speaker:It's for a longest time, fucking play D and D John, you would be so good at this.
Speaker:I've never played D and D before.
Speaker:I would love to play patriotic exclusive, pay us money to play you.
Speaker:You fucking better believe it.
Speaker:Dig can teach me how to play cause I've never played.
Speaker:So for the longest time I would, I'm kind of a nerd too.
Speaker:So I would, I would pretend to just be standing still and like go in
Speaker:and look at the room and pretend to have what your sense is, and then
Speaker:try to talk like girl, I just be like, I see, I see it that black,
Speaker:black figure over there in the show.
Speaker:Maybe I should walk to it investigating.
Speaker:Smells weird.
Speaker:It must not be good.
Speaker:I should have touched this.
Speaker:I know, I know when a whole episode where John, just to place Carol, the next
Speaker:episode, I'm just going to pop edibles and then have John speak in the Gerald voice.
Speaker:Oh, that's exactly.
Speaker:Now it sounds like I'm just trying to mock him.
Speaker:I might've been way too high.
Speaker:Exactly what he sounds like.
Speaker:Did you guys watch see when I played it, this is like, we're going way off tangent.
Speaker:But did you guys see Susan?
Speaker:One of the Witcher?
Speaker:Yes, it was great.
Speaker:So she's wanted to play the game before watching her does
Speaker:this does not fucking matter.
Speaker:It doesn't doesn't matter.
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:So season two's coming out, we should do a, like an episode
Speaker:where we review it or something.
Speaker:That's do it more patriotic exclusive shit.
Speaker:You better believe it.
Speaker:We're putting everything fun behind a pay wall.
Speaker:What's our patriotic.
Speaker:You can find it on a website, Reddit on weekends.com.
Speaker:I think you can get me bitch.
Speaker:Nice try.
Speaker:Nice.
Speaker:Try going back to, uh, back to Santa.
Speaker:Yeah, this isn't a elder or whatever the fuck we're doing,
Speaker:but yeah, what's your episode.
Speaker:We're not doing a Witcher episode.
Speaker:You forgot Belsnickel from, from white plague.
Speaker:Is he not more like Krampus?
Speaker:Who probably, I guess that's fair, but, uh, he gives gifts, you know,
Speaker:that's I honestly thought that's who you're going to go into.
Speaker:When you said a Germanic, I was like, oh, it's going to be dosh Nicole,
Speaker:and then slightly disappointed.
Speaker:What is, is Dwight German?
Speaker:Yeah, that's the whole thing, actually, there's, there's a bunch of like jokes
Speaker:that his ancestors might've been Nazis because he talks about how, why someone,
Speaker:one of his ancestors are in south America and he tried to go visit him.
Speaker:But it was, uh, protested by.
Speaker:Some Jewish organization.
Speaker:And so there's this underlying thing, is it answers someone someone's going to be
Speaker:a super fan some day and is just going to have an episode tracker of all the
Speaker:times that we've mentioned the Nazis.
Speaker:When, when we're all together, we're actually when meek and Chacha together,
Speaker:really, it's just like a counter of when Josh brings up the Nazis and German
Speaker:ancestry, you know what I'm saying?
Speaker:Hey, my ancestors were in Canada during that war respect,
Speaker:respect had already escaped.
Speaker:Yeah, we were out of there.
Speaker:All right, guys, that is it for the Wikipedia section, uh, 25 minutes in.
Speaker:We'll see, is that shorter than usual?
Speaker:Uh, a little bit.
Speaker:Yeah, usually it's 45 minutes.
Speaker:And you finally read through the holy shit guys.
Speaker:Uh, we'll go ahead and hit some ads now.
Speaker:Uh, remember if you haven't left us a five star review, things are coming back.
Speaker:Here we go.
Speaker:If you haven't left us a five star review on good pods, apple podcasts, pod chaser.
Speaker:Our website, can you do that on the website?
Speaker:Who knows?
Speaker:Wow, you can.
Speaker:That's why I included it with Khamenei X.
Speaker:You already know professor, if you haven't left us a five-star review and you got
Speaker:some time on your hands in fact, maybe do it while you're listening to these ads.
Speaker:All right.
Speaker:So go ahead and give us a five star review.
Speaker:Uh, write something nice.
Speaker:We need to fight the one star review that we got and, uh, yeah, listen
Speaker:to these ads and do some shit.
Speaker:Well, uh, they're playing.
Speaker:Okay, bye.
Speaker:Do it.
Speaker:Gerald says do it
Speaker:and gooseberries.
Speaker:Okay, bye.
Speaker:And we're back.
Speaker:You better believe it.
Speaker:Read it back in your face.
Speaker:Here we go.
Speaker:All right.
Speaker:Second half.
Speaker:Jump-starting it.
Speaker:Here we go.
Speaker:Do we want to start wholesome or do we want to start bad and then go wholesome.
Speaker:And then.
Speaker:That again, it's your episode, my guy, you like, and you want to
Speaker:feel, do it like an Oreo cookie.
Speaker:Good.
Speaker:In the middle.
Speaker:Get in the middle.
Speaker:I fear that the bad may ruin the good that's okay for cynical people.
Speaker:All right, here we go.
Speaker:First off, let's go to the first Reddit leg.
Speaker:Let's skip the good stuff.
Speaker:Here we go.
Speaker:Now I did that because Sean was, Sean was pushing the good stuff.
Speaker:So I know you had that up.
Speaker:He didn't have the bad stuff up.
Speaker:So
Speaker:you guys love to destroy me?
Speaker:I think we're starting to be like real friends now.
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:This real friends mean pain.
Speaker:Yeah, absolutely.
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:Damn it.
Speaker:Yeah, he's freaking out.
Speaker:Nah, I got it.
Speaker:I got it.
Speaker:The next time you get married to your wife, uh, we get invited, right?
Speaker:Yes.
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:For the third, third wedding, we're pretty much just making it
Speaker:a Thanksgiving tradition at this.
Speaker:I respect, but.
Speaker:Okay.
Speaker:All right, so we'll start off bad.
Speaker:Well, I guess not that bad, you know, who knows?
Speaker:So this is shout out to Reddit user poor Scandinavian on the
Speaker:cursed comments, sub Reddit.
Speaker:Okay.
Speaker:So somebody on too afraid to ask rote.
Speaker:If a woman is cuddling with a guy or sitting in his lap, can she feel well?
Speaker:He has an erection,
Speaker:as you can see where this is going, this is a question for us.
Speaker:If you could answer it, I would have to say it depends what he's wearing.
Speaker:Sweatpants.
Speaker:Probably probably some weighted work, raw denim jeans, just rind.
Speaker:Okay.
Speaker:So the top comment on that question was original poster
Speaker:is definitely a goddamn mall.
Speaker:Santa isn't he?
Speaker:No, I feel like this is one of those bad porn plots, you know, saying,
Speaker:oh, just say, Hey, hang on John, because Sean's going to add a I'm a.
Speaker:Uh, Monsanto Santa in the Philippines.
Speaker:Oh, there you go.
Speaker:I was the victim.
Speaker:It wasn't me.
Speaker:It wasn't me.
Speaker:It was me all along.
Speaker:Oh my gosh.
Speaker:No wonder.
Speaker:I'm all screwed up in the head.
Speaker:All right.
Speaker:Next up we have from strictly butters on the black people, Twitter,
Speaker:subreddit, they took a picture of a tweet from at Deus days.
Speaker:They is day is nice.
Speaker:And he wrote a Santa's watches you all year without reaching out then drops hella
Speaker:gifts on you one day and then bounces.
Speaker:That's a goddamn beat, or that's a goddamn deadbeat dad.
Speaker:If I've ever seen one.
Speaker:So it does all of our dead weed.
Speaker:Yes.
Speaker:I can't support you emotionally or, you know, help you or support
Speaker:you what you decide to do in life, but I'll just fucking buy you shit.
Speaker:Yeah, this is good enough, right?
Speaker:Fucking disappointment.
Speaker:This is a venting session for you, Sean.
Speaker:Like what, let me ask you this.
Speaker:What is your experience with?
Speaker:Sounds like you have a bad experience, Sean.
Speaker:I don't even remember believing Santa was real at any point, to be honest with God.
Speaker:'cause my sister, I'm the youngest of three siblings.
Speaker:So my sister was very, uh, I guess she's nine years older than me.
Speaker:So by the time, like I was old enough to have memories and
Speaker:shit, she was like a teenager.
Speaker:So she was always like telling me straight.
Speaker:Like I'd be like, oh, so where do babies come from?
Speaker:She was like, all right.
Speaker:When a man and woman have sex.
Speaker:So that's when a penis goes, the man will ejaculate sperm, and
Speaker:then the sperm will hit an egg.
Speaker:And then you will be a, the woman will be pregnant from the egg.
Speaker:Right.
Speaker:And then the baby comes out of the woman's vagina.
Speaker:So really you came out of mom, it wasn't a fucking bird or whatever you think it is.
Speaker:You destroyed mom's body and who you are.
Speaker:I'm like, oh, she's also the sister.
Speaker:She's also the sister that told me rice was Roach eggs.
Speaker:And that's maybe not.
Speaker:So there would be live, but also, I guess we need to get your sister on
Speaker:for two truths in Ally's Vino edition.
Speaker:That would be amazing.
Speaker:She also told me, uh, every time I eat chips and the chip breaks in my.
Speaker:Uh, like putting it in my mouth, not like chewing it, but like if I put a chip in
Speaker:my mouth and it breaks a child has died
Speaker:a little bit.
Speaker:Why, what explains my personality a little bit?
Speaker:Don't worry.
Speaker:We won't be as being as your sister.
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:I don't know.
Speaker:The big, the first 20 minutes of this podcast felt a lot like PTSD.
Speaker:We're going to spring around you one day.
Speaker:You'll become it.
Speaker:And she'll be in here with a.
Speaker:You're just going to have a breakdown and that's going to be the episode.
Speaker:We have a special guest Shawn's sister who gave him very traumatic experiences as a
Speaker:child that he cannot forget to this day.
Speaker:And then your wife comes in with chips and rice behind it.
Speaker:Today is the day sharp.
Speaker:You know, we can probably do this as Sean, like just teach him all the.
Speaker:Podcasting tools that we have and just teach them the most wrong way possible.
Speaker:It's true.
Speaker:It's true.
Speaker:Y'all are making my trust issues even worse.
Speaker:We would never do that to you.
Speaker:My guy, I feel like I was the last episode of the one I recorded where
Speaker:I very, where vena said, I sounded like something I won't repeat here.
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:He's Chinese.
Speaker:She said.
Speaker:Did she say race?
Speaker:I think she said Chinese dad.
Speaker:And then, I didn't know.
Speaker:You were saying respond in a way that didn't sound like racist
Speaker:or I was like, I could put a gift, but then I'm not Chinese.
Speaker:So it's like there's no, this is a goddamn trap card.
Speaker:I don't trust anyone.
Speaker:And here I thought I was going to get in the ring called racist.
Speaker:You get a pass you're white.
Speaker:That's fair enough.
Speaker:There's my privilege showing pay the privilege card.
Speaker:You have activated my privilege card in attack mode.
Speaker:Gerald got that white privilege to true.
Speaker:All right, here we go.
Speaker:So this is from Reddit user.
Speaker:Oh shit.
Speaker:I didn't even look at this name.
Speaker:Reddit user Santas cousin on the sub Reddit ask Reddit.
Speaker:He asked people who have been Santa at the mall.
Speaker:What's the creepiest thing.
Speaker:You've been asked.
Speaker:Oh God.
Speaker:Okay.
Speaker:So there's a lot of creepy things, but then I just found, uh, overwhelmingly the
Speaker:most creepy thing was women hitting on.
Speaker:Santos, I guess it's apparently not that rare.
Speaker:I found like 20 different comments of men who are sexually harassed not to
Speaker:make this a big like man type of thing.
Speaker:I just thought it was like, I never thought that was like a real thing.
Speaker:It's called payback.
Speaker:We absolutely deserve the harassment.
Speaker:The issue, the issue is the weird men that deserve it would enjoy being harassed.
Speaker:So as Juliana.
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:Thankfully, most of these people that commented did not enjoy it.
Speaker:Uh, well, I mean, I don't know if that's thankfully, I mean, I'm sad.
Speaker:They experienced it.
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:Fair fair.
Speaker:I'm not a fucking say myself, but they, they wrote enough.
Speaker:They wrote about it and are okay with it enough that they were
Speaker:joking about it on Reddit, so, okay.
Speaker:That makes it okay.
Speaker:Right.
Speaker:I don't know.
Speaker:All right.
Speaker:So here are some creepy stories from mall Santas.
Speaker:All right.
Speaker:So here's one.
Speaker:I was the Santa for an office party.
Speaker:And it was my first year working for this company.
Speaker:Apparently it's a tradition.
Speaker:The newest guy in the office has to wear the Santa suit.
Speaker:Something about how the suit was cursed, who knows.
Speaker:Anyway, skip forward to the party.
Speaker:I'm going around, taking pictures with people I barely knew at the time.
Speaker:And then it gets to where presence were being handed out.
Speaker:Now I sat in the back because the CEO was the one handing out.
Speaker:And I didn't want to confuse people where the real money was law.
Speaker:And I wanted to mind my own business.
Speaker:Then a woman I'm thinking maybe mid forties, forties kind of walks
Speaker:up to me drunk out of her mind.
Speaker:And she sits in my lap.
Speaker:Now I'm all for keeping characters.
Speaker:So I asked why, hello?
Speaker:What would you like for Chris?
Speaker:And she says, without hesitation, I'd love for my husband to fuck
Speaker:me in the ass while you watched.
Speaker:Oh my God.
Speaker:Why God now in presented
Speaker:when presented with the opportunity, I maintained composure and politely declined
Speaker:while attempting to get her off of my lap.
Speaker:After she said, it's fine.
Speaker:My husband is good with it.
Speaker:Let me go.
Speaker:And that's when she screams out pat at the top of her lungs and I shit, you not, the
Speaker:whole party heard, turned to see the new guy with the C E O his wife on his lap.
Speaker:Uh, no.
Speaker:Now remember when I said cursed, apparently this wasn't the first time and
Speaker:others have actually accepted the offer.
Speaker:Oh, good.
Speaker:I still fucking work here.
Speaker:Uh, John is an HR person.
Speaker:How, let me tell you this, I'm going to have to write up a, I'm just going
Speaker:to have to write a statement over here and we're going to have to do
Speaker:some sort of a seminar for, uh, you know, workplace harassment and oh God.
Speaker:Oh my God, dude.
Speaker:Can you fucking imagine I would quit?
Speaker:I think I would quit on the spot unless it was like a really good job.
Speaker:Nah, I don't know about that.
Speaker:I would absolutely look for, you know, some sort of money compensation
Speaker:for being harassed like that.
Speaker:But yeah, it absolutely get out of there.
Speaker:All right.
Speaker:Next story of women and having Santa fetishes, my boyfriend is
Speaker:a Sante for private events and has been doing so for 20 years.
Speaker:So he has a bunch of stories once at a private adults, only party.
Speaker:You once he was doing a private adults, only party.
Speaker:All the ladies were being a little bit flirty, but nothing too crazy.
Speaker:Santa baby started playing and all the ladies dragged him onto the dance floor.
Speaker:He shimmied around a little bit and then goes to sit back down when a woman
Speaker:grabs him and starts grinding on him.
Speaker:He tries to get away from her in case.
Speaker:Oh, what will Mrs.
Speaker:Claus think, et cetera,
Speaker:but she keeps on grinding and then starts to moan.
Speaker:Finally, the hostess notices and gets her away from him, but she kept trying
Speaker:to get with him the rest of the night.
Speaker:Just imagine how down bad you must be home.
Speaker:My.
Speaker:So there's chatter.
Speaker:There's something to that.
Speaker:Um, mommy kissing Santa Claus.
Speaker:So yeah, no, they really affected some people.
Speaker:They took that very literally stay in your candy cane lane, lady, goldmine.
Speaker:God, you need to chill.
Speaker:Okay, here we go.
Speaker:We got two more and then we'll get into the wholesome part.
Speaker:All right.
Speaker:So here's another one.
Speaker:I was in my twenties.
Speaker:And the perverted things, this mill whispered into my ear while sitting
Speaker:on my lap, or definitely something to be put on the naughty list, for sure.
Speaker:It became so frequent for the younger Santas to be getting
Speaker:groped, teased, and molested that the elves were told to stay close.
Speaker:When adults got their pictures, taken all security to be sure.
Speaker:Just really vital.
Speaker:We really should've put a warning before I read these weekend.
Speaker:We could throw one in there prior who knows?
Speaker:That's terrible.
Speaker:Last one.
Speaker:Yeah, that one wasn't even really, I mean, none of these are like funny,
Speaker:but you could see the humor and some of them they're a little fun.
Speaker:That one was just.
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:All right.
Speaker:Okay.
Speaker:So this one, last one.
Speaker:I was Santa for a corporate holiday party.
Speaker:One year, they really got to stop throwing these corporate holiday parties are
Speaker:serving alcohol, at least serving alcohol.
Speaker:I was in my thirties, but used a spray for my.
Speaker:It looked kind of life-like the kids dug it, but then so did one mom slash aunt
Speaker:who threw a kid on my lap, hers, I hope and whispered that she wanted to quote,
Speaker:or she wanted a Santa to quote fuck her from behind while pulling her hair.
Speaker:She also did not seem to be very drunk at all.
Speaker:And I was very uncommitted.
Speaker:And even more so when the meeting planner told me that she does this every
Speaker:year to every Santa, what the fuck?
Speaker:How is she not fired?
Speaker:Is the question I hear sexually harasses a Santa's it was funny at first.
Speaker:Cause you're like she threw a kid on his lap and you're like, I hope
Speaker:I do too.
Speaker:Well.
Speaker:Although that kid might be scarred, I don't know what I hope for it.
Speaker:What is up, put all these down bad women.
Speaker:My God, I invest in investing.
Speaker:Maybe you shouldn't be not a naughty person in Santa for a damn
Speaker:vibrator or something like that.
Speaker:I'm sure they have, like, they have to have like a pop up or blow
Speaker:up doll or some shit like that.
Speaker:There's gotta be this many women down bad for Santa.
Speaker:I would Google it, but my search history is it's already ruined mine as well.
Speaker:Let's go ahead and see.
Speaker:All I'm going to say to this is I'm glad for, for this reason alone, that Santa
Speaker:is a man, because could you imagine how many sexual assault cases there'd be?
Speaker:If Santa was a woman, uh, a comment in here and then somebody wrote, I'm a woman,
Speaker:but I've been an Easter bunny before.
Speaker:And women were hitting on me as the Eastern.
Speaker:What's up, is women in costumes?
Speaker:I don't know.
Speaker:Women love a, a man in uniform.
Speaker:You know what I mean?
Speaker:So it's just some people different strokes for different folks.
Speaker:Definitely do not.
Speaker:That is not harass.
Speaker:Do not harass your local mall, Santa or mall Easter bunny, or don't worry
Speaker:about any really bloody she probably just, I don't even need to specify.
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:Consent is all about consent.
Speaker:It's more fun when there's.
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:Maybe, maybe a, you know, warm up a bit, you know, it'd be like, Hey,
Speaker:you want to go get drinks after this?
Speaker:Don't start with, I want to watch, watch.
Speaker:You want you to watch me pull my hair lady.
Speaker:I have your child on my lap.
Speaker:I don't, I don't know what your end game your child.
Speaker:Okay.
Speaker:So we'll get back to the, the sweeter side of things.
Speaker:So this one.
Speaker:Uh, posted one year ago by Mr.
Speaker:Spooner reversal, uh, in the ask Reddit subreddit, they wrote, it's more like
Speaker:it's more than likely that COVID 19 will still be around at Christmas.
Speaker:How are we going to explain to kids that Santa is still allowed
Speaker:to go into all of these houses?
Speaker:And the top comment and really the only reason why I'm sharing this is because
Speaker:I feel like it's an answered both of you would like, and I know that because it's
Speaker:an answer I absolutely fucking low and groaned at the top answer was simple.
Speaker:Santa's bodies
Speaker:fucking knew that with.
Speaker:Uh, I approved for Bravo, Bravo, Bravo, Bravo.
Speaker:All right.
Speaker:The last two things full on wholesome before we get downright disgusting.
Speaker:Um, two guys doing something similar at a Walmart.
Speaker:Uh, so.
Speaker:I won't read the whole thing, but essentially on two separate occasions,
Speaker:somebody found two different guys in Walmart, buying all of the Christmas toys
Speaker:on sale and all the Santa hats on sale.
Speaker:And he goes, and they asked him what they were doing and the
Speaker:one who bought all the toys.
Speaker:Uh, I visit the local children's hospital and I deliver these
Speaker:toys in my Santa costume.
Speaker:And then the other guy said, I buy all of these Santa hats half off the
Speaker:next day, so I can give them to the children's hospital the next year.
Speaker:So I was like, oh man, that's nice and wholesome.
Speaker:And they were on a, of course the subreddit humans being bros and
Speaker:also the sub Reddit, R slash awe.
Speaker:Not like that.
Speaker:Yeah, that's good.
Speaker:That's a wholesome.
Speaker:It's a nice talents cleanser to their disgusting shit that we just read.
Speaker:And yet he actually takes it to get hit on by women.
Speaker:These are good guys.
Speaker:Josh, we can maniacs.
Speaker:I sent the story.
Speaker:Uh, apparently the website is not safe.
Speaker:Uh, for Josh to open.
Speaker:Canada has.
Speaker:America didn't warn John or I, we are, they're just letting us take it.
Speaker:But I guess Canada is more protective, which is my God.
Speaker:Can you already see how terrible this thing is?
Speaker:Yeah, this is bad.
Speaker:Geez.
Speaker:Okay, here we go.
Speaker:We're going to start off.
Speaker:It's going to go, John, Josh, and then me, the title of this is Santa
Speaker:Claus is coming spelled correctly.
Speaker:Not, not the dirty way, but it's important, but it's, it's.
Speaker:Okay, Santa Claus is coming.
Speaker:It was the night before Christmas and ocular house.
Speaker:I thought you were going to read it in Gerald voice for a second.
Speaker:I thought that's her voice.
Speaker:It was the night before Christmas.
Speaker:Fucking not do a house.
Speaker:Not a creature was staring except me.
Speaker:Of course, I was busy putting out gifts under the tree we already for
Speaker:when a good school cup in the morning, Dave was out supposedly at a school.
Speaker:But more likely boozy would mates.
Speaker:I had gone upstairs to get the last of the gifts and came down only
Speaker:a step into the living room and have a sack thrown over my head.
Speaker:Uh, I forgot warning here on out as always with the.
Speaker:This is definitely suggestive and bad and all around.
Speaker:Not great, but again, you guys have me do this.
Speaker:You guys have not asked for me to stop and, uh, this is more or less we have
Speaker:But the Wicker maniacs keep listening and they keep mentioning
Speaker:it when they talked to me and you guys keep promoting this mud.
Speaker:So it's like, what do you want me to do with your sister?
Speaker:Fucking Nick Miller, bro.
Speaker:Bye.
Speaker:You cookie.
Speaker:Got your cookie man.
Speaker:All right.
Speaker:So, uh, the warning bad all around, coming up.
Speaker:All right.
Speaker:So.
Speaker:What the, my words cut off abruptly.
Speaker:As I did not want the kids waking up, the SAC was only small, just
Speaker:large enough to enclose my head and fastened the PullString at its neck.
Speaker:I stood in darkness until a voice told me you are on Sandra's naughty list.
Speaker:So he has decided that this year, instead of giving you presence,
Speaker:he will have you as his present.
Speaker:I was wondering how it was going.
Speaker:I was on warning.
Speaker:You could stop at any time.
Speaker:I did not write this.
Speaker:We do not endorse this.
Speaker:This is red for the embarrassment of the three of us.
Speaker:Oh God.
Speaker:Uh, I was wondering what was going on when I felt hands were moving my
Speaker:clothing, every stitch of it until I stood naked, then I felt something being
Speaker:wrapped around me around legs and arms, ankles and wrists until I could not.
Speaker:Hans roamed over me as I was gift wrap, teasing tits and stroking bottoms of
Speaker:pussy until I was wet and squirming.
Speaker:And so not ready and so ready for fucking, he says colorized, I was laid down on
Speaker:the floor and the sack was suddenly gone leaving me alone and so hot and
Speaker:horny, but I could not even touch myself where I really want it to be touched.
Speaker:I looked down at myself, fighting my wrists were tied
Speaker:together behind me with lots of.
Speaker:I hope no one ever knows about my podcasts.
Speaker:Oh God.
Speaker:Okay.
Speaker:My ankles were tied with loop after loop of red ribbon to
Speaker:my wrist so I could not move.
Speaker:And I was kneeling with legs, splayed wide, open by a spreader
Speaker:bar, just under my knees.
Speaker:Oh God.
Speaker:My shaved pussy on display.
Speaker:I must've looked like a festive.
Speaker:I don't want to say this way.
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:I tried snuggle.
Speaker:I tried, I tried snuggling.
Speaker:I tried struggling, but I was completely helpless.
Speaker:A deep voice behind me, green.
Speaker:Oh, whoa.
Speaker:What have we been doing this year?
Speaker:I looked in disbelief as Santa himself stood in front of me.
Speaker:This could not be happening.
Speaker:I must be dreaming dreamer, not this whiskery old fellow dropped his pants
Speaker:displaying a rather impressive erection.
Speaker:I assume my helpers
Speaker:health, this beats the hell out of milk and mince pies.
Speaker:Oh God.
Speaker:He reached large hands between my legs after removing his gloves
Speaker:stroking until it was, I was even wetter and almost desperate.
Speaker:And he stood before me.
Speaker:I got the perfect height for me to allow it into my mouth.
Speaker:I somehow understood what he wanted without him needing to tell me.
Speaker:And I took his pour into my mouth, teasing a nibbling until he started to score.
Speaker:I don't know about the nibbling nibbling.
Speaker:Sorry.
Speaker:Pause.
Speaker:I have y'all.
Speaker:Did y'all ever watch Derek comedy on YouTube back then?
Speaker:It was like Donald Glover's comedy.
Speaker:Oh, I've seen clips, but I've never watched the whole thing.
Speaker:So there's this a skit that they did with Aaron from the office, you know,
Speaker:Aaron, the redhead where let it look like they were trying to film like
Speaker:a, like a porn video or whatever.
Speaker:And then he was.
Speaker:She was like, uh, oh, I'm going to blow you.
Speaker:And he was like, oh yeah.
Speaker:And then she was like, I'm going to do this.
Speaker:And then she started like rubbing her hands together.
Speaker:And I learned this new thing with my hands.
Speaker:And then she does this, she starts smacking her hands together.
Speaker:She was like, yeah, you're going to like it like that.
Speaker:And he was like, no, she was like, hi, what about this?
Speaker:I learned this how to do this with my.
Speaker:He was like, Jesus Christ.
Speaker:No, it's just like, Ooh, you're so freaky.
Speaker:Sean.
Speaker:Sean made a vicious biting.
Speaker:I hope that was heard again.
Speaker:My mic is from Amazon for $30.
Speaker:Sign up for a sign up on our Patriots a weekend by Sean and you Mike, please.
Speaker:Uh, was that, was I reading that or was that you that I stopped
Speaker:that I read the nibbling part.
Speaker:Oh, the nibbling, right?
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:Now it's me.
Speaker:Okay.
Speaker:Here we go.
Speaker:When he had enjoyed this for long enough, he tipped over, he tipped
Speaker:me over onto my face so that my bottom was struck high in the.
Speaker:Jesus, his fingers teased the opening, probing inside.
Speaker:As I lay helpless while he was making me even wetter and hornier, Whittier,
Speaker:I said, we're here to recover.
Speaker:Where did he have been stood in front of me?
Speaker:I had thought his cock looked Lord.
Speaker:When I actually felt it sliding into my soaking pussy.
Speaker:It felt twice that size, this red velvet walls, the walls all over again.
Speaker:And he shafted me with it smoothly and hard.
Speaker:Bearing it deep inside of me with every stroke.
Speaker:Oh, God, I'm tired of this already.
Speaker:Goddamn novel.
Speaker:All right.
Speaker:We might finish early.
Speaker:Santa might do
Speaker:His arms were around me now hand squeezing my tits and teasing
Speaker:the nibbles to full hardness.
Speaker:I could feel every inch of his shaft sliding in.
Speaker:Forcing me higher and higher, but still not letting me come just yet.
Speaker:The torment seemed to last for hours with me, closest screaming.
Speaker:I was that desperate to be allowed to come.
Speaker:I knew somehow that he was doing this the, who was stopping me
Speaker:from coming and all the time that huge cock was fucking me making me
Speaker:hornier than I had ever been before.
Speaker:The shades of gray.
Speaker:It's like, is this is this 50 shades of gray?
Speaker:I've never read it.
Speaker:Okay.
Speaker:I think what I imagined it would be like, anyways, eventually he took pity on me and
Speaker:it felt as though invisible bonds had been removed, I pushed back onto him, reveling
Speaker:in the hard fucking he was giving me.
Speaker:There was not long before I was coming for him.
Speaker:And every muscle in my.
Speaker:this six podcasts and reading this fucking smut has made.
Speaker:I'm assure all three of us say.
Speaker:Uh, that word more times than we have ever said in our normal day-to-day life.
Speaker:That's true.
Speaker:That's true.
Speaker:I don't remember saying pussy as much as I am.
Speaker:Um, every muscle in my purse, he contracted squishing that massive guy,
Speaker:but he pulled her quickly before he came.
Speaker:Oh my God, uh, long as it shit.
Speaker:I don't know, man.
Speaker:I know we're almost, we're almost there.
Speaker:We're almost close.
Speaker:I thought that he was finished, but the next second, his wet cock slid
Speaker:into my tight bow God, a scream.
Speaker:As he started to ravish my rear, his hands now teasing his hands,
Speaker:using my clip unmercifully and I was coming again while he carried on.
Speaker:But fuck.
Speaker:Hold on question.
Speaker:Is this the CEO?
Speaker:Yeah, definitely.
Speaker:And we reading it are the fucking mall.
Speaker:Santa's being forced to watch this disgusting.
Speaker:God, and I feel bad for him.
Speaker:Yes.
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:I do not know how many times I came while he was buggering me.
Speaker:The climaxes were coming one after the other, and I was whimpering
Speaker:helplessly as each one washed over me until he finally got.
Speaker:Warm creamy.
Speaker:Come feeling me dripping out.
Speaker:As he pulled out, leaving me twitching in total bliss.
Speaker:Can we be back to came up?
Speaker:Can we go back on the buggering?
Speaker:Me?
Speaker:What is, what the fuck is that?
Speaker:I don't know.
Speaker:Buggering me.
Speaker:This is maybe written by someone, not in the U S which makes me feel
Speaker:a little bit better about myself slightly better, slightly better.
Speaker:Uh, he helped me back up and adjusted his clothes before.
Speaker:As he left, he whispered naughty or nice.
Speaker:And that was bloody good.
Speaker:Your president will be here soon.
Speaker:I was wondering what he meant by that when I realized he was gone along with
Speaker:any trace of comm and I was only again, just then I heard a key in the luck
Speaker:and Dave came in, followed by his mate, Jack, as soon as they saw me, Jack
Speaker:told Dave, look like Santa has already.
Speaker:The fuck does that mean anyways?
Speaker:I don't know.
Speaker:As the two of them started to enjoy their unexpected Christmas, treat
Speaker:their hands already exploring between my open legs and teasing my already.
Speaker:Oh no, this continues.
Speaker:Okay.
Speaker:Teasing my already sensitive tips tits.
Speaker:I remember Jesus.
Speaker:I remember thinking Jack, you would never believe me if I
Speaker:told you how right you were.
Speaker:Uh, that was written by Marie 5, 5, 5, 5 on lush.
Speaker:Actually, don't go to that website.
Speaker:There's probably viruses.
Speaker:It's banned in Canada.
Speaker:The fact that, uh, it's, uh, that you know, who knows if this is real or not
Speaker:their real name, but Murray, it makes me feel better that possibly a woman
Speaker:wrote this and it's less creepy that way.
Speaker:Maybe, I don't know.
Speaker:Who knows slightly.
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:I dunno.
Speaker:You can share my screen.
Speaker:No, you're good.
Speaker:I was like, I was going to say, I don't know if squad casts or sharing pages
Speaker:can transmit viruses, but if squad CAS sees what we just shared, they're
Speaker:probably kick us out of their plan.
Speaker:Oh my God.
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:That's not going on YouTube again.
Speaker:Wouldn't be X.
Speaker:That's not going on anything.
Speaker:Hopefully, besides.
Speaker:Again, we can maniacs.
Speaker:Uh, I should do a better job at maybe reading them in full before.
Speaker:Uh, I try to just scam and kind of get the overall vibe, but that was
Speaker:much worse than I remember it being.
Speaker:Um, but again, another short episode from your boys, Shawn, uh, before
Speaker:we before, is that a short episode?
Speaker:No, we are at a I'm sure I'm going to edit this out, but we are at just
Speaker:over an hour, you know, the vibes.
Speaker:I did take a pee break peek behind the screen, wicked maniacs.
Speaker:I did have to leave.
Speaker:Um, but yeah, that's it for this episode, truly apologies
Speaker:to everything you just heard.
Speaker:Uh, remember the wholesome stuff before I ruined it.
Speaker:Um, oh, Um, w shots and thought should also be releasing an episode the
Speaker:same day as you're listening to this.
Speaker:Hopefully.
Speaker:And if not, call me out on Twitter, uh, do something, do something we
Speaker:need to get back on the charts and Finland, you know what I'm saying, where
Speaker:we've lost our, our number one spot.
Speaker:So that's true.
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:If you guys have time and you want to listen to more of me, probably.
Speaker:Uh, less disc.
Speaker:I want to say I'm much more disgusting on this show than shouts and thoughts
Speaker:you are discussing in this show.
Speaker:Oh, you're still, you're still charting in Finland.
Speaker:Am I?
Speaker:You're still number 62, number 62 in Finland and episode in like two
Speaker:months, 237 in America in, uh, improv.
Speaker:So there you go.
Speaker:in the U S you know, shout out to, uh, our little collective between
Speaker:the three of us and possibly more.
Speaker:I don't know when we're dropping news, but big news coming, doing a little
Speaker:shimmy, doing a little dance, who knows, but anyways, that's it for this
Speaker:episode, John, Josh, we don't do plugs anymore, but whenever we're fucking
Speaker:over time, if you want to give a plug, you can, if not, that's a whatever.
Speaker:We do do the outro work and they find us do the outro.
Speaker:You know, where you could find us.
Speaker:You can find us on Twitter and Instagram and Patrion and discord and, uh, Patriot
Speaker:on and buy me a coffee and Patrion and buy me a coffee, a patron, buy me a coffee.
Speaker:If you can.
Speaker:All of those links on our website, read it.
Speaker:I read it on the Wiki.
Speaker:Holy shit.
Speaker:I got the name wrong.
Speaker:Ready on wiki.com.
Speaker:You can find all those links stay up to date.
Speaker:We are very active on Twitter and by we, I mean, John, uh, we all see.
Speaker:We posted regularly on Instagram and sometimes on Tik TOK.
Speaker:And also we have a Patriot and buy me a coffee.
Speaker:I don't know if you heard that we have a Patrion and a body of coffee.
Speaker:Uh, but yeah, you can hit us up on there if you want to support us financially.
Speaker:Uh, if not, that's cool.
Speaker:Just leave a five star review and, uh, keep listening despite, uh, if you want to
Speaker:skip my episodes, you know, that's fine.
Speaker:I get it.
Speaker:I absolutely get it, but just skip the last 15 minutes.
Speaker:I mean, who knows?
Speaker:Maybe only the last 15 minutes is bad or my, all my episodes are bad.
Speaker:Who knows, but let's see what our people listen to.
Speaker:That's true.
Speaker:Again, this is your fault guys.
Speaker:This is your fault.
Speaker:Anyways, happy December 20th, Merry Christmas.
Speaker:If you celebrate happy Hanukkah, happy Kwanzaa, happy,
Speaker:whatever you want to celebrate.
Speaker:And by.
Speaker:So you guys are next week when there's no.
Speaker:Are we doing this?
Speaker:We're not even recording a video.
Speaker:They feel the vibes though.
Speaker:They feel the energy of the place you at you're right.
Speaker:There you go.
Speaker:Bye guys.