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Oct. 11, 2021

Salem Witch Trials | These Darned Kids And Their LSD Bread

Salem Witch Trials | These Darned Kids And Their LSD Bread

Let's keep spooky season going with a healthy dose of bread laced with LSD! That's right we are talking about the famous town AND village of Salem and how they got a little witch crazy back in the day.

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Transcript
Speaker:

The neat gassed your source for offbeat news.

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Marathi monkeys bring fear to historic Indian tourist Haven.

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These monkeys have gotten aggressive.

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Anytime you hold a package in the hand, they'll come.

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Snapchat from you like gang members, like take your chain.

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God partakes on sports.

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The legend he is, but he's done.

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No, he's got you pardoned him.

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He's coming back.

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He wants to party drew Brees.

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I want to throw him in prison and deep dives into the paranormal, the, uh, Loveland frogman at approximately 3:30 AM.

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And.

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Businessman the most credible witness.

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Maybe you can find it.

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I was just doing business when I saw progress.

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Join us every Monday and let's talk some bolts available on apple podcasts, Spotify, and all your favorite podcasting apps.

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The following podcast contains adult language and content, not suitable for children.

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Some topics may contain graphic details.

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So a general trigger warning is in place.

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We appreciate you being here, so please enjoy the show.

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What is up?

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Wikimedia it spoken back to read it on Wiki.

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My name is Josh shell, and I will be your host for.

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But of course I am never alone with me.

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Are the dynamic duo, Ron and Don?

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No, wait, wait.

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Bon and Juan.

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No, no, no.

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It's Sean and John.

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What's up guys?

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There it is.

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Got it there at the end money.

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Their third time's a charm.

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And you had us in the first half.

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Not going to lie.

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What's up guys?

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Hey much, man.

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Happy the hell is today.

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Wednesday, love Wednesdays days.

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Um, the best day of the week, or read it on Wiki, read this episode with a bang.

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Oh God, John bang, stay tuned.

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Ooh.

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Join our Patrion for the, the video of said bang, the behind the scenes Breton on Wiki of course, is the podcast where each week one host takes a topic, terribly, researches it online and presents it to their cohort.

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We aren't always accurate, but we always have a good time before we jump into today's topic.

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I want to say a huge thank you to everyone who has reviewed, shared and downloaded the podcast as well as a huge thank you to our latest patron vena.

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And we love you for helping out the podcast.

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If you want to support the podcast like vena, go to patrion.com/reddit on Wiki and sign up to enjoy rewards like wee episodes a week early ad-free episodes, and a ton more bonus content coming here.

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But more importantly, it'll put a smile on Sean's face.

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And how can you say no to a face like that?

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Look at that even got a fresh haircut and everything just for you, what can mean.

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Yeah, I had your pimple, the last video.

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So I was like, all right, I got to keep taking care of the skin can look like a stupid bitch again.

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So it's a God, it's one of the thumbnails for one of our tech talks too.

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It's great.

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All of our videos are my fucking pimple scab, so it's perfect.

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So anyway, we were moving onto the topic this week and to start it off, I'd like to pose a question to John.

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Let's say I am a judge and you were being accused of a crime.

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You did not commit.

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And you have no way to prove to me that you did not commit this crime.

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If you continue to claim innocence, I will likely find you guilty and hanged because I'm the American justice system, but I offer you a deal.

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You confess to the crime.

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You did not commit and for good and for good measure, you have to implicate others in the same crime.

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Let's say show.

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If you do that, you will go free.

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Do you sell out Sean and admit to the crimes or do you claim innocence and die for the crime?

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You did not commit.

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Hey man, I ain't no snitch right ride or die, baby.

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That was rain baby.

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I was raised at nasty city, California, baby.

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We don't snitch ever you fall on that sword.

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Eh?

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Yes, sir.

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Nice.

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Well, that's that's nice, Sean.

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Would you do this?

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Hell.

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Nah, John's dead mother fucker.

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You better believe it's niche city up in here.

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Shawn's from Texas.

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They have a different motto, fucking every man for himself, eye for an eye baby.

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This is why TexMex sucks.

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It was stone cold.

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Steve Austin usher say trust.

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No one.

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Yeah.

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DTA, TTA, baby.

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I was going to say all lives matter until they're born.

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They're all fucking witches.

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Hey, it says my body, my choice.

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If it becomes a vaccine.

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Oh, did you see Ted legit fucking tweeted?

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Hashtag my body.

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My choice.

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Oh God.

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What a dumb ass bro.

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Sorry.

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Carry on.

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Zodiac.

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Killer.

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Shout out.

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Kyrie Irving and Bradley Beal for being this week's biggest dumb ass is when Ted Cruz tweets, I support you.

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You know, you fucked up, you know, you fucked up.

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Yeah.

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Cause they had NBA media day.

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Wasn't it recently, dude?

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Yeah.

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Yup.

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I like Bradley Beal.

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I like watching him cause he's kinda.

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He's just a really good score, but dude, whenever he was saying all that shit and he had like a big old grin on his face and smart, I was like, dude, you're so fucking, oh bro.

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You're so yeah, the NHL had their, their like their own COVID people that wouldn't get the vaccine and it's no big stars, which is funny.

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So it's like the fourth liner who they're like, yeah, we're just going to cut you from the team.

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And you're not important enough for this.

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Now we're at the drama.

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No, no, no.

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Especially the Canadian teams.

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You have to travel between borders like 20 times.

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It's like, we're not going to put up with this.

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So anyway, that was a digression.

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There's our politics for the week.

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Anyway, John, I posed that question to you because on today's episode, we will be learning about the Salem witch trials, which according to Wikipedia.

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We're quote, hearings and prosecutions of people accused of witchcraft in colonial, Massachusetts between February 19th, 1692 and May, 1693 D what do you guys, you guys obviously know about the Salem witch trials.

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Everybody knows about the Salem witch trials.

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How much do you guys know about it?

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Or do you have any, have any fun facts about sales,

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Scarlet, witch, Scarlet, which spoiled?

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Okay.

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On which trials?

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I don't know if it was you, you guys talking to me about it or Chris talking to me about it.

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He said some, some fucking thing that blew my mind.

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And I forgot.

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Are you mixing your friends already?

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Huh?

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Are you mixing your friends now?

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Dude, two episodes per week of two different podcasts, a Filipino, and then a Canadian on both podcasts.

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It's fucking, it's hard.

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My guy I'm in a little one, but you got one white guy.

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So I feel like that's an automatic distinct.

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Canadians are Canadians my guy.

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That's true.

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We're all weighed at heart.

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I know.

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Shout out Drake.

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That might be a problematic statement.

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Anyway, before we hop into the Salem into Salem, however, we have to head back in time to the late 14 hundreds in Europe, where two German Dominican's Henrik Heinrich Kramer and Jacob spring.

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Published a book called ma malleus Malouf for Carrie.

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Um, you know, when you write something down and you're like, I will have to learn this, and then you never do.

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I did that.

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I did that with the script.

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I wrote that and I was like, oh, I'll learn that later.

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Um, you get a pass with this podcast.

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We, I mean, we, that's what we preface anyways.

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Perfect.

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I am.

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Julie researched is our, is our catchphrase.

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So.

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I have German heritage though.

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I should probably know this, but anyway, the book title roughly translates to the hammer of witches.

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This book was a guide on how to identify hunt and interrogate witches.

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So I think we can see where this goes and fun fact for nearly a hundred years, this became, this book became authority for Protestants and Catholics, trying to flush out, which is among them.

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And for nearly a hundred years, this book was the second best-selling book.

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Only behind the Bible.

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Wow.

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Yeah.

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Yep.

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So they went a little witch crazy.

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You could see.

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My two top hobbies is praising God and killing fucking witches.

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You better

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call your Sunday.

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Yeah.

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Right.

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So this spurred a hysteria in Europe throughout the 15 and 16 hundreds, where approximately eight 80,000 witches were put to death in Europe, nearly 80% of them were women who were supposedly in cahoots with the devil and filled with lust.

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So.

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Just another way to blame women for men's or just as we've discussed many times already.

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It was probably honestly the opposite.

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They probably were not filled with lest the dudes were trying to be less D and the girls are probably like non it's, a fucking witch.

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She's a goddamn witch.

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She tried to coerce me into sex.

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How can you resist my mutton chops?

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It definitely had mutton chops.

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Every, every European asshole at that time was just gassed on from beauty and the beast just probably have like serious duck butter from all the stupid like clothing they have to wear.

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Wait what's duck butter, duck butter is bro.

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Duck butter is the sweat that accumulates in your crotch area.

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Jesus.

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There's a phrase.

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I don't know.

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I've always called it duck butter this whole time.

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I thought that was a common thing.

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I've never fucking, not once in my life.

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I've heard a truffle butter, butter, truffle butter is a whole nother thing.

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That whole butter is pretty similar right in the booty though.

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And that's, that's sweat.

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That's yeah, that's the, that's the Dukie.

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Oh, that's one.

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Oh, that is, oh, that's August fucked up.

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They truffle butter in the morning is not something.

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And because I love truffles.

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So every time I hear that the experience is ruined for me.

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I love that song too, but I could never look at a truffle the same way.

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Again, you better believe on me truffles that ain't going to stop me.

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And he gets both turned on and hungry.

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Yeah.

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He has a mushroom for it.

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So it'd be all right.

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My Belize, both my shoes.

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And my pants get tightened by truffles

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and your pants and my pants shirt and pants.

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It all, it all gets tighter.

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So all this is terrible, but in the, by the late 16 hundreds year, uh, Europeans finally began coming to their senses and the witch hunted, uh, witch hunting fervor finally calmed down.

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But as the hysteria began to die in Europe, it began to grow in the new world.

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And this brings us to the quaint little town and village of Salem, Massachusetts.

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The town of Salem sits at the mouth of the NACO Wagga.

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NACO ag river.

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I'd definitely butchered that.

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I apologize at the former site of a native American village and trade center.

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Colonists obviously took it over.

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They, they fucked them.

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They got that rid of them and said, this is ours.

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Now I don't have.

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White activity.

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It's about light.

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Yeah.

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Yeah.

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I don't have that written here, but that's definitely what happened.

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Calling us settled the area in 1626, when a company, a fishermen arrived from Cape Ann led by Roger con content.

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Eventually the settlement was named Salem, and I think I read that it was something to do with Jerusalem, a city in Jerusalem.

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It's named after that.

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And a man named John Winthrop was elected governor in late 16, 29.

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Now he actually wasn't there.

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He was elected while he was still in Europe.

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He arrived in 1630 with the written throb fleet, which consisted of 11 ships, carrying supplies, livestocks, and around a thousand Puritans.

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Hmm.

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Yeah, I listed them last because.

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Last in order of importance between those,

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for those of you who don't know a Puritans, are there religious nuts theory?

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They're English Protestants who basically wanted to purify the church and believe the church of England had not been fully reformed.

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So they left Europe in search of a better, more radical church, basically.

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Yeah, they are terrible people and they are one of the main reasons these witch trials occur because Puritans back then wholeheartedly believed in the devil and the supernatural and that you had to constantly begin, constantly fight back against it.

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Otherwise you're letting God down or that you truly don't believe in God.

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Very high stakes, double edge sword, right there.

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Say you don't believe in God or you don't praise him enough.

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You must always be in conflict with the devil.

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Otherwise you don't have God Puritan sound a lot.

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Like today's a Patriot.

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Yeah.

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Yeah.

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Probably there are a of, they have very conservative values.

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I'll say that there are whole hearted belief in witches reminds me of Patriot's wholehearted belief that.

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Microchips and the vaccine will fucking make your nuts swell up or some shit like that.

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It's the goddamn five G fucking me up son.

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My God, maybe God damn.

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There's been so many conspiracies.

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I forgot to put the 5g.

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That was a whole thing.

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Remember that one?

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The whole thing back, like done a conspiracy episode.

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13 episodes in and we still haven't gotten one yet.

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We rope it in somewhere though.

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Every episode has a bit.

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That's true.

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You're right.

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You're right.

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That's true.

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No, we'll definitely do one.

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I thought that was more your area of expertise, John, I wouldn't say expertise, but I need to do on yet.

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The other, the other main reasons these trials happen is that there are two different Salem's.

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There is the town of Salem and the village of Salem, obviously not right now, but at this time there was.

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Uh, the town of Salem in the late 16 hundreds had become a very prosperous Seaport with lots of trade and merchants.

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Whereas the village of Salem is mostly farmers who are more strict with their religious practices.

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So there's a bit of a divide.

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Like the village of Salem, there were a bit more Northeast, I think it's called Davenport and that, so that used to be the village of Salem.

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And that was where more of the religious sect of people like the extreme religious people went to.

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And this began to cause a split in the village of Salem.

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There are some people who have Thai, who had ties to the town of Salem, you know, family, friends, trading, partners, et cetera.

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And they wanted to remain connected to that Salem.

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Whereas the religious people in Salem village wanted to split off and become more isolated and live in a more closed off religious committee.

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'cause, they didn't really agree with the greed, which they perceive the merchants to, to have in the town of Salem.

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So obviously this is, this causes a bit of a rift and one of the most influential people in Salem was John Putnam.

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And John wanted Salem village to have its own preacher to further divide itself from Salem town.

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So in 1689, he hired a man named Samuel Paris to become the village preacher.

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Samuel along with his wife, Elizabeth, his six-year-old daughter, Betty, his niece, Abigail Williams, and his Indian slave Tituba moved to the Salem village.

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And I think they moved from Barbados, which fun fact, so many of the Puritans moved to the Massachusetts area, but they also, there was also a large number of them that moved to Barbados.

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So this is where he comes from base.

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So my Barbie, whether I was going to say, well, I don't know why you'd move to Boston from Barbados, but not Boston, but the Boston area and Rianna from Barbados she's somewhere on, somewhere around there.

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I think one of the, one of the islands, I don't know.

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What's up big head.

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Are you shooting your shot at Rihanna right now?

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you're married my guy.

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Come on, John sickening.

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We're Puritans.

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Now you discussed that.

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Was it a Dave Chappelle, the Tupac Dave Chappelle, that angel.

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No

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Fast forward, three years to February of 1692, and a brutal winter had been ravaging, Massachusetts and the young Betty Paris, who was the reverend's daughter.

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I believe daughter.

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began acting very strange.

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She would run around dive under furniture, contort and pain bark, like a dog babble, nonsense and complaining of fever.

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These symptoms could have been caused by many things, including stress, boredom, epilepsy, child abuse, which was definitely a thing that happened in these communities or delusional psychosis.

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The other thing that it could be, and I like to picture this because.

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Just funny.

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It could have been caused by a bread infected with ergot, which is a fungus that LSD is derived from.

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So just these kids high on LSD, dude.

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All I did was eat some fucking bread, bro.

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You think if I can talk to you just barking.

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Fucking to get started sounding like DMX rip rest in peace.

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But yeah, that is the most, one of the most common assume.

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Like a lot of historians assume that's what happened because it was such a harsh winter and it was the perfect climate, a fungus like that to grow in their, in their bread at that time.

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Um, And it's fun.

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Join our Patrion.

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We're going to take LSD bread and record an episode and then accuse each other of witchcraft.

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Yes.

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I mean, if you joined that, it's the used that we can do.

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So

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you paid how much money?

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I mean, like I said, there'll be more buns where that comes from.

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Yeah.

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Fucking damn it.

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Your turn, shine, your turn.

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Say something, say something pressures on

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you, man.

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Moving on.

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So, so a lot of historians agree that it might've been this or God that causes Ellis is direct drives.

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LSD is derived from, and quite a few other girls around Betty's age began experiencing these symptoms as well, including Abigail Williams, which is the niece of the Reverend.

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But so Samuel had them examined by a doctor who intelligently looked them over, diagnose them properly and cure.

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Just absolutely not.

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That's not what happened now.

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There's no way that these girls died.

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They were murdered.

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No, no, they, they were fine.

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Yeah.

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He actually just, he looked at them and said, which they're possessed by witches.

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This is the devil's work that's act.

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That's actually what he did.

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He did that and they, they didn't die.

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They didn't kill him.

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No, no, no.

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And we get into that.

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Why they don't die.

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Y.

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So they don't die being rewritten and wholeheartedly believing that there are, which is cursing his niece and daughter, Samuel began to deny to demand that they tell them who did this to them, probably scared, delusional, and stress.

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The children eventually cracked and blamed it on three different women.

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The first I think you guys could probably guess this one was the slave to.

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Goddammit.

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Yeah.

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Who, according to the girls had been telling them the future at using egg whites in water, which is actually a common practice, I think.

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Or it's like, she's from Barb, kind of like the Barbados area.

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So she, she does like no fortune telling and all that kind of like, like it's, it's voodoo stuff.

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It it's not, not anything, but they would view it as witchcraft.

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They actually, they actually used that method in the Philippines to, oh, well, there you.

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Yeah, like lights and water.

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Yeah.

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So sidebar, there was a time when I got really sick in the Philippines and medical doctors.

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Couldn't medical doctors.

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Couldn't explain what it was.

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So what happens is there's a legend in the Philippines where if you kick like some sort of an anthill, it's kind of where like dwarves or like Dorman spirits live kicked one.

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I kicked one of those when I was a kid they're called Nuno sup one.

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So yes, Wharf.

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Damn right.

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Holy shit.

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You're a short king, John.

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That doesn't hurt you.

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Don't it's all good, man.

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Hey Lord Farquhar had a castle, right?

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And that's that's who I am right now.

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You want to compare yourself to Lord?

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Barkhor my book is a baller, right?

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I don't give a shit.

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That's.

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And justifies the mean man Machiavellian.

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All right.

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I don't care.

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But yeah.

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So anyway, I kicked, I kicked it and then I got sick for like a long time.

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So they, they couldn't tell the doctors, the doctors couldn't tell what it was is that I was fine, but I was like, have the super high fever.

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So he brought me to this kind of like which doctor and that's exactly what they did is they had a glass of water and then they cracked an egg.

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And then from there it kind of formed to a shape.

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Like a little creature.

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So we had to make an offering and say like, Hey, we're sorry.

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And the next thing you know, I was, I was fine.

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Damn.

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That's kind of cool.

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Well, apparently John is also a witch, according to these Puritans.

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Damn, he called you a witch and a door.

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They would get this man, bro.

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Right.

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We all have to score out Josh.

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When we finally meet we're fucking meeting in a ring row, UFC ring.

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Yeah.

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We're going to pull out the relies on those, those Logan Paul bat boxing matches.

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So according to the, apparently this is a more well-known than I, I figured, but so, yeah, so they did this pretty basic fortune telling routine.

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And during this fortune telling the girls claim that they saw terrible things and claim that that might be what.

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The second accused was a beggar and a social misfit named Sarah Goode who actually was pregnant at the time and had a daughter, I believe so, but she was just like, kind of an outcast.

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So they blamed it on her.

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And the third was an older woman named Sarah Osborne, who was an outsider and married and in dirt, the indentured servant, which was a no-no in the Puritan community.

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Yeah.

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So.

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All three of these women kind of outcasts in their community.

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You know, they don't, they're not the, you know, hetero white male, so they don't fit in.

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So yeah, they, they get accused of witchcraft and they are taken into custody in Salem town and are berated and interrogated.

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Days, if not weeks or months, some, I believe some of them were Tituba, eventually cracks under the pressure and confesses to harming the girls and cursing them.

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She proceeds to sell out the other women in a bid to save herself, which to her credit does work.

Speaker:

She does escape the executions.

Speaker:

So, you know what.

Speaker:

Fuck, I guess.

Speaker:

Wow.

Speaker:

She didn't have a great time.

Speaker:

She was locked.

Speaker:

She, yeah, she was locked in jail for a long time.

Speaker:

And then she was sold to another sold slavery.

Speaker:

Again, it's not like she's.

Speaker:

Yeah, she's probably better off to be honest out of this community.

Speaker:

So hopefully, I mean, she's still a slave, so it really sucks that way, but Osborn and good maintain their innocence.

Speaker:

However, it was to no end Osborn ended up dying in prison of old age because she was like 17.

Speaker:

Something years old and life back then though, right?

Speaker:

Yeah.

Speaker:

Yeah.

Speaker:

Oh definitely.

Speaker:

Yeah.

Speaker:

She, she lived quite a long time, but you live long enough to see yourself become a, uh, which, you know what I'm saying?

Speaker:

The classic saying the classic hero trope.

Speaker:

Good good's husband actually testified her against her in court claiming that she was a witch, so great husband.

Speaker:

So then they brought her daughter, uh, into jail as well and forced her to confess against her.

Speaker:

Good, who was pregnant at the time, ended up giving birth in jail with the baby, sadly dying shortly after this all, but confirmed that she was a witch and in their minds.

Speaker:

And Sarah Good was hanged shortly after

Speaker:

'cause.

Speaker:

Her daughter died.

Speaker:

In jail.

Speaker:

That's what?

Speaker:

Well, they are not good.

Speaker:

Yeah.

Speaker:

Yeah.

Speaker:

She, she there's rumors that she had mental health issues and like, she was kind of an outcast in the community.

Speaker:

So when her husband testified against her, which is just terrible thing to do, they had no other, they just assumed that she was a, which at that point, and then the baby dying was like, She can't have she can't birth children or whatever.

Speaker:

I don't know what their ruling was.

Speaker:

They're dumb people.

Speaker:

So yeah.

Speaker:

Yeah, it was a pretty dark.

Speaker:

And after this false confession, the dominoes began to fall and more children began to come out with confessions and accusations against others in their community.

Speaker:

Most of the accusations, go back to the split community.

Speaker:

The ones who wanted to remain connected with Salem town and the outsiders of the community were usually accused by those who wanted to split from Salem town or those who had higher status in the community.

Speaker:

By June of 1692, there were over 30 warrants for arrest.

Speaker:

The jails were being overfilled.

Speaker:

And so they called a special court called court of lawyer.

Speaker:

And tourmanent Terminator.

Speaker:

Over the course of four months, more than 200 people were accused of witchcraft.

Speaker:

30 were found guilty.

Speaker:

19 of those were hanged.

Speaker:

Five died in jail.

Speaker:

And one man, I have saved for last.

Speaker:

We could go into the nitty gritty of all 30, who were found guilty, but it's the same thing.

Speaker:

Children usually accused outcast of witchcraft.

Speaker:

They acted weird.

Speaker:

Again, could be the.

Speaker:

It could be at this point, just a hysteria where they're just blaming each other and, and they all get either hang died in jail.

Speaker:

Or like I said, there's this one guy.

Speaker:

So a woman named Martha Corey was accused of being a witch.

Speaker:

And at her trial, her husband, her husband Giles' Cory stood up to refute the claims.

Speaker:

He was.

Speaker:

Yo, my, my wife's not a witch guys like chill.

Speaker:

This shit is wild, bro.

Speaker:

Chill.

Speaker:

You guys are, you guys need to take some LSD income now have y'all tried this fucking bread, bro gets me in a good state.

Speaker:

No, he was, he was probably irate to be honest, but he was of course, taken into custody and accused of being a witch as well, because that's what happens when you refute the claims.

Speaker:

But the Guiles also refuse to enter a plea bar.

Speaker:

And apparently, I don't know if this is just American, but if you don't or at this time, if you couldn't get someone to enter a plea bargain, there could be no trial.

Speaker:

And so they had nothing, they couldn't take them to court basically.

Speaker:

So they began to press him.

Speaker:

And I mean that literally they took him outside, put a board on his chest and began piling rocks on him to get him to confess.

Speaker:

Oh, damn.

Speaker:

They're trying to need him like a DOE, huh?

Speaker:

Yup.

Speaker:

Yup.

Speaker:

There's another bread pun for you.

Speaker:

That's what you're going for.

Speaker:

Sorry, Sean.

Speaker:

Okay.

Speaker:

I'm about to leave Giles' however, being the bad-ass, he was never confessed.

Speaker:

And the rumor is that the only words he uttered during his, for two full days of pressing was, oh yeah.

Speaker:

Two days.

Speaker:

His only words were more wait.

Speaker:

Or more rocks sometimes grow so big Dick energy, bro.

Speaker:

Heaven's a mash in his wife.

Speaker:

Non-stop 24 7.

Speaker:

She was like, you did that shit.

Speaker:

You said more weight.

Speaker:

I'm going to crumb.

Speaker:

I'm going to crumb.

Speaker:

Yeah, man.

Speaker:

Oh, yes.

Speaker:

Giles' was eventually crushed to death under the weight of his enormous balls and the rocks, the rocks didn't help, but this death along with the hanging of a different Reverend not one we talked about, but a different one began making people question what they had done.

Speaker:

Now, the reason the river.

Speaker:

Yeah, I know.

Speaker:

It's kind of funny.

Speaker:

They're now questioning why?

Speaker:

Oh shit.

Speaker:

We killed two white men.

Speaker:

He'd be wearing the wrong here.

Speaker:

Are we the baddies we've taken a step too far.

Speaker:

Yeah.

Speaker:

So the reason the Reverend thing was a, another awakening obviously.

Speaker:

Yeah.

Speaker:

White male, probably that's another thing, but it was said that just before is hanging in front of a huge crowd.

Speaker:

He began to recite a verse from the Bible.

Speaker:

Which is said to be impossible for someone controlled by the devil to do so.

Speaker:

They ended up killing them anyway, because they were like, well, we've come this far and there's no turning back now folks.

Speaker:

Yeah.

Speaker:

Yeah.

Speaker:

So that, uh, that set off a chain of events along with the pressing, which was very obviously gory.

Speaker:

Fun fact about that one.

Speaker:

I don't know if it's fun.

Speaker:

It's kind of gross, but apparently late into the day to the sheriff of the town had to force Giles' tongue back in his mouth because it was like coming out because he was being squished.

Speaker:

That's a rumor, probably not God, not untrue.

Speaker:

Um, So, yeah, all of this calls causes this hullabaloo and by January of 1693, the governor was forced to shut down the court and pardon all of the remaining accused, which took until may of 93, after the dust had settled, the community had tried to make peace with what they had done.

Speaker:

Many that were involved with in the trials, came out with apologies some of the accusers claim that they had been possessed themselves.

Speaker:

But I think it must've been very awkward to come back into the community where people were ready to execute.

Speaker:

You.

Speaker:

They'd be like, oh, morning, Ted.

Speaker:

And he'd be like, fuck you, Dave.

Speaker:

He tried to kill me with that thoughts and prayers, bro.

Speaker:

Holy moly.

Speaker:

Oh yeah, not great.

Speaker:

But if there is a good quote unquote to this story, it is.

Speaker:

This was kind of a warning to the rest of the nation about what could happen if we let the accusations get out of control.

Speaker:

And Salem did not get carried as carried away as Europe did previously.

Speaker:

So I guess we got that.

Speaker:

So to think of as a, a bonus quote, unquote, yeah.

Speaker:

Americans have never taken wild accusations and random.

Speaker:

No, not at all.

Speaker:

Yeah.

Speaker:

20 years.

Speaker:

We're a hundred percent backs.

Speaker:

We're a hundred percent.

Speaker:

Oh yeah.

Speaker:

Yeah.

Speaker:

You guys say you guys take things to the extreme and I both have respect and fear you for it as you should America, baby.

Speaker:

That's what I'm talking about.

Speaker:

Yes.

Speaker:

So that is the story of Salem.

Speaker:

What are your guys' final thoughts?

Speaker:

As we close out this terrible story?

Speaker:

Which is be crazy, man.

Speaker:

Jesus Christ.

Speaker:

It just amazes me how, I don't know why, like the first reaction that you can think of instead of like getting into the root of things is, oh, I don't know what's going on.

Speaker:

She must be a witch.

Speaker:

So let's fucking burn her in this thing.

Speaker:

That's that?

Speaker:

Shouldn't be your first reaction.

Speaker:

Well, and, and the other thing is that it's, most of the accusations were from children, right?

Speaker:

So it's like, you're just wholeheartedly taking these children who are fucked up on LSD and to quote Michael Jordan, welcome kids, bro.

Speaker:

Speaking of Michael Jordan and fuck fucking kids.

Speaker:

Did you did y'all see that video of a God?

Speaker:

I think it was no, not that, but yeah, you see that, that video of crisp.

Speaker:

Uh, Chris Paul's camp, Michael Jordan was there.

Speaker:

Yeah.

Speaker:

And Kyrie or no, Chris.

Speaker:

Paul was like, if Jordan misses any of these free throws, everybody at the camp gets free Jordans.

Speaker:

And then he fucking made every shot, like easy peasy.

Speaker:

Look, those kids in the face and said, hell nah, fuck, fuck all.

Speaker:

Y'all bro.

Speaker:

Y'all gonna pay for them.

Speaker:

Shit, bro.

Speaker:

Damn kids.

Speaker:

Yeah, Michael Jordan was a Dick.

Speaker:

I'll say it.

Speaker:

He's not a great role model for sure.

Speaker:

Yeah.

Speaker:

Good at what he did though.

Speaker:

We'll give him that.

Speaker:

Oh yeah.

Speaker:

The goat.

Speaker:

Sean.

Speaker:

How about you?

Speaker:

Any, any last minute thoughts of Salem now, just the fact that, you know, the fact that it reminds me of people today.

Speaker:

That's scary and sad at the same time, I was going to say, if we bring it back to Texas for a minute, I apologize to everyone we're talking politics for a second, but the, the whole abortion ban, like they're basically, it's basically a witch trial.

Speaker:

Cause there it is.

Speaker:

Cause it's just fun.

Speaker:

Yeah.

Speaker:

Oh yeah.

Speaker:

Yeah.

Speaker:

It's just, he said, she said type shit.

Speaker:

Yeah.

Speaker:

You see Uber and Lyft.

Speaker:

They were, they were like, we'll cover all the, the fucking criminal case or whatever.

Speaker:

Like, if you get sued or whatever for bringing somebody to abortion clinic.

Speaker:

Well, if I can cover it, cause I mean, that's crazy.

Speaker:

Don't pay them a minimum wage.

Speaker:

So not saying Uber and Lyft are the shining examples of ethic, but at least they're doing, yeah, they're doing something that's good.

Speaker:

Doing some.

Speaker:

But it's, you're basically asking them to snitch for you, just so you know, it's just doesn't make sense.

Speaker:

And then we bring it back to what Sean said earlier.

Speaker:

The fact that Ted Cruz had the fucking nerve to hashtag that.

Speaker:

Yeah, take that ass back to Cancun, Joe, stupid looking ass.

Speaker:

Oh my God.

Speaker:

Don't even go to Cancun, bro.

Speaker:

Don't ruin another place pro just stop.

Speaker:

Just don't do anything, bro.

Speaker:

Just stay home, keep your mouth shut.

Speaker:

Quit your job.

Speaker:

Just be a piece of shit by yourself.

Speaker:

Dude.

Speaker:

I have a question about him.

Speaker:

Is it true that he is Canadian?

Speaker:

I've heard rumors about that.

Speaker:

I mean, I don't know.

Speaker:

I just know he has small hands and he loves, he loves Donald Trump.

Speaker:

Not that I want to claim him, but he's all yours.

Speaker:

My guy, you can have him, dude.

Speaker:

We don't fucking want.

Speaker:

I'm really not from here.

Speaker:

So I got them really have a say, but you vote here, right?

Speaker:

Yeah, I do.

Speaker:

Yeah.

Speaker:

So fuck.

Speaker:

I got to get them out in Calgary.

Speaker:

Barely.

Speaker:

Oh, he's yours.

Speaker:

Which makes sense.

Speaker:

Alberta's the Texas of Canada.

Speaker:

So, so you have him, you have Ted Cruz and Justin Bieber a God damn.

Speaker:

Hey, J B is turned his image around.

Speaker:

I can also, I want to say, I got to stick up for my state.

Speaker:

All of Texas is not fucking Ted Cruz.

Speaker:

You know what I'm saying?

Speaker:

We're not like that, dude, that all the major cities are blue.

Speaker:

It's just all these fucking rural towns.

Speaker:

No offense to them, you know?

Speaker:

Well, it's the same as California.

Speaker:

Like California is pretty red, but it's the cities that make it blue.

Speaker:

You know what I mean?

Speaker:

Yeah.

Speaker:

Which is with newer states, I feel we were so close to fucking getting rid of.

Speaker:

Uh, stupid ass Abbott.

Speaker:

We almost had it.

Speaker:

We almost switched.

Speaker:

It it'll happen someday, someday habit.

Speaker:

We're going on a whole political diatribe that has nothing to do with Salem witch trials.

Speaker:

I apologize for Khamenei X, but I went to a UFC event and I saw that stupid ass.

Speaker:

Greg Abbott was down there rolling around in handshake and taking.

Speaker:

You know, dapping up people, neck, literally the next week, fucking Greg Abbott.

Speaker:

That's the positive test positive for COVID in the middle of a fucking, one of his events where he was in, in a room full of other stupid ass Republicans.

Speaker:

Damn not.

Speaker:

I'm not even against Republicans.

Speaker:

You know what I'm saying?

Speaker:

I'm not even a on Democrat.

Speaker:

Yeah.

Speaker:

And there are some dumb people and there are some smart people, and I'm not saying the Democrats have some stupid ass people too.

Speaker:

They do, you know what I'm saying?

Speaker:

But, well, just the interesting thing about American politics is you have a left and right.

Speaker:

But both, both of your parties are left of our right party or right.

Speaker:

Of our left party or no, they're, both of them are right of our most right party.

Speaker:

There we go.

Speaker:

That's what I'm trying to say.

Speaker:

And, and to Sean's point, you know, I think extreme of anything is not great.

Speaker:

I'm not, I'm not blue, I'm not red.

Speaker:

I'm a gun owning, wielding American veteran that supports gay rights guys.

Speaker:

So it's like, you can be both if you want, like, you don't have to like, choose.

Speaker:

Loved the right.

Speaker:

I'm very much in the middle, politically, same here.

Speaker:

As far as it goes.

Speaker:

I do agree with a lot of left policies, but I do also believe, you know, there should be stricter gun laws, but we shouldn't be taken.

Speaker:

Oh, you should be able to own a gun if you want, but it should be harder.

Speaker:

You know what I'm saying?

Speaker:

I don't know.

Speaker:

I don't fucking know shit, bro.

Speaker:

I'm just a guy who drinks on my other podcasts.

Speaker:

And then somehow I got on this one.

Speaker:

I'm not an expert in anything.

Speaker:

It's just, I'm saying what I think, you know what I'm saying?

Speaker:

And I'm just, all I can say is there's anyone that wants to like fuck around and find out my house.

Speaker:

You don't want to find out.

Speaker:

Yes.

Speaker:

They might have a cat.

Speaker:

Yeah.

Speaker:

Suspicious has no tail.

Speaker:

She's trained.

Speaker:

She's seen some shit, bro.

Speaker:

She's from the streets Lakaya

Speaker:

oh, right.

Speaker:

Yeah.

Speaker:

I don't know how he got all there, but so, yeah.

Speaker:

So I apologize.

Speaker:

That's my fault.

Speaker:

I think I took it there, but south Salem witch trials, that is the end of that.

Speaker:

We are going to take a quick break.

Speaker:

But after the ad break, we are going to go into our top five Halloween candies, and we want to hear what you think.

Speaker:

So don't miss it.

Speaker:

What's up waking maniacs.

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What is up with your maniacs support for this podcast starts with, well, you, you can do so by following us on social media, on Twitter and Instagram at Reddit on Wiki.

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Subscribe to our YouTube channel at Reddit on Wiki and are ticked off at Reddit on Wiki pod.

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You can find us wherever you find your podcasts and make sure you go to apple podcast.

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Good pods and pod chaser, and leave the boys a five star.

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Tell us how much you love the show and make sure to tell your friends about us.

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If you want to support us financially, consider joining our teachers.

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You can find us on patreon.com/reddit on Wiki for one-time donations.

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Consider contributing to a buy me a copy page for rock armor.

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You can find all our links on Reddit on wiki.com.

Speaker:

All right.

Speaker:

We are back and it is time to get this terrible taste of dead, which is out of our mouth with candy.

Speaker:

What a segway?

Speaker:

You are a pro my friend.

Speaker:

Yes.

Speaker:

This is why I get paid.

Speaker:

What I do all 50 cents that we make all goes to you.

Speaker:

My guy getting paid.

Speaker:

That's what I'm saying.

Speaker:

So to clarify, we are going to go share our favorite top five, favorite Halloween, candies, or chocolates, and you wicked maniacs are going to vote on who you think is better.

Speaker:

And let us know your top five on Twitter and Instagram at Reddit on Wiki.

Speaker:

Cause I wanna want to get those, those engagements.

Speaker:

Want to hear what you guys think are Sean's Candy's trash.

Speaker:

That's what I really want though.

Speaker:

If, if we're voting, if the wicked maniacs are voting, can we not say the same and somebody else?

Speaker:

It's probably like the best overall like combination.

Speaker:

Okay.

Speaker:

Okay.

Speaker:

And, and to cap this off, I wanted to make it a bit of a competition, you know, and we make all these competitions I want to get in on it.

Speaker:

The loser of the three of us has to eat candy corn.

Speaker:

Oh, Sean . Oh, no, he likes.

Speaker:

Yo like candy corn.

Speaker:

It's seasonal.

Speaker:

I'm not going to eat fucking candy corn every day, all day.

Speaker:

But I knew you were fucking weird, bro.

Speaker:

I mean, it's, it's, it's fucking, just high-fructose corn syrup and sugar.

Speaker:

It's trash, but I'm like, I mean, this, this is whatever candy is.

Speaker:

Candy.

Speaker:

All right.

Speaker:

What candy?

Speaker:

Don't you like the fucking hot tamale?

Speaker:

I don't fuck with hot.

Speaker:

I don't like that.

Speaker:

I don't like.

Speaker:

Yeah, I don't fuck with Mike and I X any of those candies shaped like pills.

Speaker:

He's a fucking kid.

Speaker:

You can eat a hot tamale.

Speaker:

Yeah.

Speaker:

Oh yeah.

Speaker:

Hi.

Speaker:

Is that not spicy for you?

Speaker:

No, I am.

Speaker:

I'm weird.

Speaker:

I enjoy the cinnamon hearts at Valentine's day.

Speaker:

I will buy a whole huge bucket of them and then just handfuls wait, but those hearts are made out of cinnamon.

Speaker:

Yeah, the cinnamon heart.

Speaker:

Not the chalky ones.

Speaker:

You're thinking of the chalky ones.

Speaker:

I'm thinking like the red ones I'm talking about.

Speaker:

That must be some Canadian shit.

Speaker:

Cause I did not know what the cinnamon, yeah.

Speaker:

Okay.

Speaker:

I'll share behind the stream.

Speaker:

Rick maniacs, whenever we were talking about this, Josh was like, I'm pretty sure we're going to pick different top candies.

Speaker:

And I'm like, I don't know.

Speaker:

I feel like at least in American candy, there's.

Speaker:

There's a few top high, high priority candies.

Speaker:

You know what I'm saying?

Speaker:

I'm, I'm pretty sure John, and I will say some of the same shit that's directly.

Speaker:

Yeah.

Speaker:

I might have different ones.

Speaker:

All right.

Speaker:

So this is what this is talking about.

Speaker:

Seven hearts.

Speaker:

There's so fuck with us.

Speaker:

Oh yeah.

Speaker:

They, they taste like cinnamon though.

Speaker:

Yeah.

Speaker:

Yeah.

Speaker:

They're good.

Speaker:

They're good.

Speaker:

Oh, is it like, oh man, I don't know if I fuck.

Speaker:

Not a fan.

Speaker:

I mean, I haven't tried it.

Speaker:

I can't say, you know what I'm saying, but they're the bomb.

Speaker:

We'll have to take your word for it.

Speaker:

This is cinnamon.

Speaker:

We'll talk about cinnamon, uh, candies when it's, when it's a Valentine's day.

Speaker:

Anyway, wait, hold on.

Speaker:

Quick question.

Speaker:

Are we going to go?

Speaker:

One through five or just like going down a list, like 5, 4, 3, 2.

Speaker:

We'll start with, we'll start with Sean.

Speaker:

He'll start with his five.

Speaker:

He'll go through 5, 4, 3, 2.

Speaker:

And then as number one, if he's prepared, he's counting on his hands.

Speaker:

So I'm concerned.

Speaker:

So, okay.

Speaker:

So we talked about this like two weeks ago.

Speaker:

Yeah, which was, which was funny behind the scenes with the maniacs.

Speaker:

I messaged them being like, yo prepare for this episode.

Speaker:

I'm going to ask you your top five favorite candies within seconds.

Speaker:

They both messaged back.

Speaker:

I've already got my list.

Speaker:

'cause I have a, okay.

Speaker:

Yeah, I got my list.

Speaker:

I got my list.

Speaker:

Okay.

Speaker:

Okay.

Speaker:

All right.

Speaker:

Starting off hot one.

Speaker:

Snickers, peanut caramel chocolate.

Speaker:

Delicious.

Speaker:

Yup.

Speaker:

Number two.

Speaker:

Reese's peanut butter cup.

Speaker:

Peanut butter chocolate.

Speaker:

Fantastic.

Speaker:

Number three, a goddamned Twix.

Speaker:

You better believe it.

Speaker:

Caramel cookie chocolate.

Speaker:

Amazing.

Speaker:

Number four, a goddamn 100 grand.

Speaker:

The wild card caramel.

Speaker:

It's like a crunch bar, but with caramel, you know what I'm saying?

Speaker:

Know, Johnny, Aldo's a hundred grand caramel guy.

Speaker:

Oh, I love, oh, not too much.

Speaker:

Cause I feel like a hundred grand is like too much caramel.

Speaker:

A hundred grand is goddamn.

Speaker:

I can care about pull, dude.

Speaker:

I dunno if it's very much in frappuccino, dude, I'll ship you some dude and you can send back some that actually don't, don't send back,

Speaker:

send me back some poutine or something.

Speaker:

No, I've never seen this before, so we definitely don't have, well, I shouldn't say that.

Speaker:

I also thought we didn't get taxed taught lottery winnings.

Speaker:

I have no idea.

Speaker:

Hey, shout out, shout out to Mike from brew crime for calling you out my leg.

Speaker:

Yeah, fine.

Speaker:

What do you call it?

Speaker:

What if 100 grand is just like D does Canada have like laws on just what is just too bad to have there?

Speaker:

Maybe a hundred grand is just too.

Speaker:

It's a straight up, correct?

Speaker:

That I don't think so.

Speaker:

Anyways, the last, the last number five pick is M and M's with the peanuts, peanut M and M's.

Speaker:

Okay.

Speaker:

Yeah.

Speaker:

I thought about you like peanuts and chocolate.

Speaker:

Those are your go-to.

Speaker:

I like, I like a texture with my chocolate bar Delia.

Speaker:

How do you feel that?

Speaker:

Oh, Henry's.

Speaker:

The fuck are you talking?

Speaker:

I'm making shit up.

Speaker:

Is that just Google that one?

Speaker:

You guys Google that you would love to know?

Speaker:

Henry Sean it's peanuts and Chablis colonizer's name.

Speaker:

I mean it is, but yo, this looks delicious.

Speaker:

It's good.

Speaker:

It's good, man.

Speaker:

You send me some of the a hundred grands.

Speaker:

I'll send you one of those easy.

Speaker:

Dude that awesome.

Speaker:

This is so cute right now.

Speaker:

You guys are sending each other stuff.

Speaker:

We'll find out nothing again, nothing.

Speaker:

We'll say if we send each other, the fucker called me a short king because you fucking, which door you start owning.

Speaker:

You left the rock.

Speaker:

I mean, my D and D character, which door yo put an ax and magic beach, patriotic exclusive.

Speaker:

The one shot.

Speaker:

Oh, so that was your, your five Sean.

Speaker:

Yeah, I do have some regrets, not baking something like broody or I had a Halloween pick, like, cause I only eat it during Halloween, but those, those caramel apple lollipops not very popular, but when I was a kid, I used to fuck with those.

Speaker:

It sounds gross.

Speaker:

I don't know.

Speaker:

Fuck you.

Speaker:

Yeah.

Speaker:

Shut up.

Speaker:

Oh, Henry.

Speaker:

Nevermind.

Speaker:

You know, we were talking to a lot of shit about cinnamon hearts.

Speaker:

You know what I'm saying?

Speaker:

You can talk shit about the apple caramel lollipop.

Speaker:

All right, John, what is your top five?

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Ah, coming in number five, everyone.

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A lot of people hate this, but I actually love it.

Speaker:

Twizzler.

Speaker:

Okay.

Speaker:

I, I don't know if they make my top five, but I don't like, I don't like black licorice though.

Speaker:

Like it has to be the red one.

Speaker:

I haven't ever seen it.

Speaker:

We're going to have some controversy on my list.

Speaker:

Oh, licorice number one.

Speaker:

Overall, there's a tease, but oh my gosh.

Speaker:

Right.

Speaker:

Coming in number five, Twizzlers number four, Twix.

Speaker:

Number three.

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Kit-Kats kick knickers.

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And my number one, favorite candy of all time, Halloween or whatever, fucking season sour patch, water.

Speaker:

Interesting.

Speaker:

And those are solid fun fact.

Speaker:

My buddy's girlfriend actually worked for them or works for them in marketing.

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And she would get like tests, like test tastes like.

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So we get to, we get to taste them every once in a while.

Speaker:

Send that shit to John that's.

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Yeah, it comes in like an unmarked bag.

Speaker:

I'm like addicted to sour patch, watermelons.

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It's not even funny.

Speaker:

I just went to New York by the time this comes out two months ago, but they have goddamn straight up sour patch kids.

Speaker:

Oh, wow.

Speaker:

Jess, that's still do it.

Speaker:

Sour patch, kids candy, like all the flavors and like merchandise.

Speaker:

They like sell the like stuffed animals of the kids and it's fucking crazy.

Speaker:

That's awesome.

Speaker:

That was yours, John.

Speaker:

That's a good list.

Speaker:

That's a good list.

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Not too many controversial.

Speaker:

Maybe the Twizzlers might be controversial, but I think I might lose strictly to my lack of diversity.

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I think, I think five of the same candy bar.

Speaker:

Yeah.

Speaker:

I have a bit of diversity here.

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So coming in at number five, I've got m&ms fucking love.

Speaker:

m&ms they're great.

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Shut up.

Speaker:

Fantastic.

Speaker:

Number four is the black and purple jellybean.

Speaker:

I fucking love jelly beans, but especially the black and purple ones.

Speaker:

Yo right now, if Josh wins, I'm going to be so mad.

Speaker:

What the birdie, but shit.

Speaker:

No, no, no, no.

Speaker:

Like, like, like you get a tub of jelly beans.

Speaker:

When we first meet each other and like go eat out or some shit, and we're just gonna watch and feel like how weird all three of our different tastes us.

Speaker:

God damn.

Speaker:

What is, what a burger, where are we going?

Speaker:

Oh, speaking of that, if we ever meet each other, like, I'm just saying, it's like wicked maniacs.

Speaker:

Can you make us famous?

Speaker:

So then we get invited to some sort of convention.

Speaker:

I'm just saying that'd be dope or lodge.

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Our live show.

Speaker:

Yeah.

Speaker:

Live show.

Speaker:

Be cool.

Speaker:

You do a, let's start a cult and a shots and thoughts too.

Speaker:

Maybe I'll bring Patrick back just to be like, you want to go into a fucking tour again, but make him sit in the stand and just be like, Hey, you just over there, he can Twitch stream it.

Speaker:

Call of duty.

Speaker:

Yeah.

Speaker:

He does switch to be listening.

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He'll be playing call of duty.

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Number three.

Speaker:

We've got scale.

Speaker:

I love Skittles Skittles, a solid number two, Snickers.

Speaker:

I think that's been on all of your lists.

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So that might be the number one over overall.

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So with the Snickers and then number one, overall, we've got Mars bars.

Speaker:

I love Mars bars.

Speaker:

What is it?

Speaker:

I know we have that.

Speaker:

It's like new, good, never amount and chocolate.

Speaker:

It's just, you might not like it shine.

Speaker:

It doesn't have the texture, the crunch, but it's so smooth and it just it's.

Speaker:

So.

Speaker:

I love them.

Speaker:

Oh, kind of looks like a Milky way.

Speaker:

Right?

Speaker:

I don't know what that is, but sure.

Speaker:

I feel like it's the, oh, wait, I typed in Milky way in Google and I got straight up, you know, galaxy shifts.

Speaker:

Oh, they were going to get some born shit because of all the Google searches you've been having to do for this shit.

Speaker:

And Google is straight.

Speaker:

I'm just talking about ads.

Speaker:

I get weird fucking ads, fair single areas in your neighborhood that miles away builders

Speaker:

looking for gifts, WWE.

Speaker:

A professional wrestler, amateur porn.

Speaker:

How is it professional wrestling if it's amateur so many questions.

Speaker:

So that is it for the episode, wicked maniacs, whose candy list did you like the most vote on Twitter?

Speaker:

We'll have a poll going up on Twitter and Instagram, and while you're at it, let us know your favorite Halloween candies, your top five or whatever you want to do on Twitter or Instagram at Reddit on.

Speaker:

If you enjoyed this episode and want more consider subscribing and rating us on apple podcast, pod, chaser, and good pods.

Speaker:

And finally, if you want to support the show to get ad-free episodes and get episodes a week early, go to patrion.com/read it on Wiki.

Speaker:

And become one of our amazing patrons patrons, some told it's called patron as always the links to everything I mentioned are in the show notes.

Speaker:

Go check it out.

Speaker:

Thank you, Wiki maniacs for another successful week and we will see you next episode.

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Yay.

Speaker:

Sean can do that outro later on, stay tuned next week and you'll hear me absolutely pass it.

Speaker:

The deal.

Speaker:

Do you want me to send you this, this script?

Speaker:

No.

Speaker:

Okay.

Speaker:

Now that's little.

Speaker:

I'm sticking to my script of not reading scripts.