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Aug. 16, 2021

Copypasta | Edge of Glory

Copypasta | Edge of Glory

Oooooooh yeahhhh! Whatcha gonna do, brother?! Welcome back to another episode of Reddit on Wiki hosted by yuh boy, Sean. This week we learn about copypasta and of course I make John and Josh read borderline smut.

What is Copypasta and why is it so popular in Reddit and other online forums? From Navy Seal copypasta to the famous schedule that'll have you in the edge of your seat, we got you.

Today's podcast promo is from our friends at I Had to Say It. You can find all their information at https://ihadtosayitpodcast.com/

Follow us on social media on Instagram and Twitter @redditonwiki. Follow us as well on major podcast platforms such as Apple, Spotify, and Podchaser. Don't forget to leave a 5-star review if you enjoy what you hear. Also, support us financially through our buymeacoffee site! All links here! https://linktr.ee/redditonwiki

Sponsor: https://newsly.me/ use our promo code W1K12021 for 1-month of premium free!


If you want more of us, here are our other hustles/grifts!

- Find John and his wife's food TikTok account by searching @travelfats

- Find Josh's other podcast by searching Let's Start a Cult wherever you get your podcasts and @let_cult on all social media

- Find my other podcast by searching Shots and Thoughts wherever you get your podcasts and @sntpod on all social media


Thanks, love y'all!


Resources:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Copypasta

https://www.techopedia.com/definition/31470/copypasta

https://www.merriam-webster.com/words-at-play/words-were-watching-copypasta

https://knowyourmeme.com/memes/navy-seal-copypasta

https://www.reddit.com/r/copypasta/comments/idn24w/aita_for_killing_my_political_rival_to_win_the/

https://www.reddit.com/r/copypasta/comments/oe52ow/sigma_male_schedule/

https://www.reddit.com/r/copypasta/comments/in917v/tifu_by_revealing_my_cock_length_to_my_family/



This podcast uses the following third-party services for analysis:

Chartable - https://chartable.com/privacy
Podcorn - https://podcorn.com/privacy
Dynamo - https://www.voxnest.com/dynamo/privacy-policies
Transcript

[00:00:00] Sean: What's up Wikimaniacs. This is Sean. And if you couldn't tell by the title, the subject we're covering today is copy pod. In this episode, we read various copy pastas found throughout Reddit and Wikipedia. I'm here to give a trigger warning because after recording this episode, we learned that one of the copy pastas that we read was shared by the domestic terrorist behind the Christ church mosque shootings.

[00:00:24] The terrorist did not write the copy pasta, but he did share it on a social media board called eight Chan. So if you would like to skip that part of the episode and not listen to it, it starts whenever we mentioned the. Navy seal copy pasta. And it ends right before we go into our ad break, Josh, John, and I thought it was important to add this trigger warning prior to the episode, just so you guys would know and could skip out on this one if you want it to.

[00:00:49] But that being said, thank you for your time, listening to this part. And I hope you enjoy the rest of this episode.[00:01:00]

[00:01:03] What is up Wikimaniacs? It's your boy, Sean, coming back at you with another episode before we get into today's topic, like to introduce my host, I am not as good at introducing them as Josh and John are. I do not famously do not write anything down, just going off the top of the dome. So.

[00:01:28] John: From boo

[00:01:30] Sean: John, we have John here host of Reddit on Wiki.

[00:01:35] Also. Am I killing it? I feel like I'm killing it, dude.

[00:01:43] John: Keep it going.

[00:01:44] Sean: Keep it going. Just bum rush this shit. Let's go guys again. If you didn't hear my, on my first episode, the kayfabe episode, the first episode of . My plan is for as long as possible until the wicked maniacs revolt against me [00:02:00] is to do this with zero scripts because while Josh and John are experts at writing scripts for the podcast, I do not know how to do that.

[00:02:10] I do not do that on shots and thoughts. My other podcast, we're just fucking, we're fucking doing it live. You know what I'm saying? We're doing it live. So before I go on another five minute tangent, we should talk about. The second host we have from let's start a call podcast. Mr. Dick, bud himself, Josh house.

[00:02:29] I thought he forgot about me.

[00:02:32] John: To be honest.

[00:02:34] Sean: I thought he was going to go on to the top,

[00:02:36] Josh: to be honest. That's so funny. The

[00:02:39] Sean: adrenaline rush of being woefully unprepared is quite intense.

[00:02:46] Josh: Oh, it's refreshing. I enjoy it.

[00:02:50] Sean: And hopefully the listeners do cause I am, I really do fear writing a script,

[00:02:54] John: but yeah, it's all good man.

[00:02:55] Like ours, ours and mines, and Josh are very like structured base. [00:03:00] This is a very great pallet cleanser for the Wikimedia eggs

[00:03:04] Sean: and trust us. We're all laughing too. So

[00:03:07] John: if you see us on our recording screen right now, we're fucking sweating from the laughter.

[00:03:12] Sean: Yeah. I want my episodes to be as off the wall controlled chaos, you know what I mean?

[00:03:18] Yeah. Well, yeah, if you, if you got a glimpse of it, the last episode, do you know how crazy things can get? I can't promise insane erotic fan fiction every episode, but I will do my best to make things a little bit wild. Okay. So let's get into the topic. Shall we today, we're going to talk about copy pasta.

[00:03:41] Right. Yes. That's the correct term. Copy pasta. I going into this, I had seen the phrase on the internet before, but I didn't like know the exact thing, what it was. So John, Josh copy pasta off the top of your head.

[00:03:59] John: Is it a [00:04:00] joke for someone who mimics people? Because they're an imposter. That's all I got.

[00:04:06] Sean: All good.

[00:04:09] All good. Let's see John you're back, baby. You thought you lost all the puns, but yeah. Got it. But really, I don't know shit about it

[00:04:17] Josh: if I had to guess, like, I, I like you shot, I've seen it around, like on Reddit and stuff like that. If I had to guess, I would guess it was like copy paste, but with words changed, maybe

[00:04:30] Sean: interesting.

[00:04:31] So halfway, I'm not going to lie to you guys halfway through you guys talking. I was like, you know what I did not do at the top of this? I didn't explain what the fuck our show is about. So is it too late for that? Should I do that anyway? It's your episode? Do you do what you need to do? You know what?

[00:04:49] You're absolutely right. We're episode five. Now, if you don't know the fucking deal, that's on you. My guy and Jessica. All right. So read it on Wiki.[00:05:00]

[00:05:01] Oh my God. This whole episode is a gag reel. I like to come live. You know what I'm saying? Just like to do it. She said, you like to ask us what you like to do. What

[00:05:15] John: you heard, you heard what? I said, Josh,

[00:05:19] Sean: I'm still riding high from the John Sina, Randy Orton. You know what I'm saying? Oh,

[00:05:27] John: fair, fair, fair disclosure.

[00:05:29] I personally asked to record. Because I know this is going to fucking happen. All right. So we recorded an episode six before this, cause I know Sean was going to do the shit to us.

[00:05:40] Sean: You know, what's crazy is like, I was so ready for you to go first. Cause I was like, all right, I can see how it's done. You know what I'm saying?

[00:05:45] I'll get the intro. I'll do all this shit. I start off hot. I forget Josh completely. I don't do the intro right at all. Don't explain the show.

[00:05:54] Josh: Fuck it. You know what I'm saying? I was going to say you had an extra hour to prepare

[00:05:59] Sean: and you know [00:06:00] what? Yeah, that's on me. That's on me. That's absolutely on me.

[00:06:04] Wait,

[00:06:04] John: but no cap. No, this motherfucker's episodes gets downloaded more than us and Josh's and combined. All right. This guy

[00:06:13] Sean: it's to be fair, to be fair. We're there. This is still our launch week, a little peek behind the screen. This is still our launch week. You know, the data is only a couple of days old.

[00:06:23] We don't truly know who's is the most listened to, but as it stands we know one thing for sure. We know our fans truly love erotic fan fiction, so who doesn't need to meet to be honest, completely after we recorded that episode, I was like, Dude, like you know, I've been on the Dumbfoundead. So some dummies know me.

[00:06:48] I haven't been on let's start a cult yet. But but you know, I was like shots and thoughts. Is that a relatively small scale show compared to y'all? So I was like, Ooh, this will either go really well [00:07:00] or very badly. So I'm happy to say two days into launch week. People do enjoy it. So thank you guys again.

[00:07:09] Oh,

[00:07:10] John: what are we going to do with you? Shiny boy.

[00:07:13] Sean: Oh gosh. What a good day. Can you stand up back before we get super, super into it? I do want, and while we are in the mode of thinking all of the listeners and all their wicked maniacs I thought it would be fun to give a little shout out to our, buy me a coffee again.

[00:07:32] If you want to help the show out financially, you can visit buy me a car. Dot com slash Reddit on Wiki. And we already have what day three in this bitch. And we already have a day, one supporter. You know what I'm saying? So I'm going to go ahead and read out there message to us. Some might say poetry, some might say beautiful work of literature, but this is.

[00:07:56] I believe Russian raspy. Nah, I'm just, [00:08:00] oh,

[00:08:04] John: being a national

[00:08:05] Sean: dominance right now. I don't know what the fuck I'm talking about. Okay. Shout out to Monsoor swag, make dope, fresh. He bought us five coffees and he left us this beautiful story. So a quote from Mon source wag. McDonald's. I used to have frequent unwanted erections throughout my Workday on brand brand for my hosting episode.

[00:08:29] Okay. My colleagues would laugh and relentlessly, you can imagine how embarrassing it was, but then I started listening to Reddit on Wiki and the host engaging content has my mind focused on other things on things other than Carol. Oh boy, Harold and accounting. Where's the story for you, but nothing like Barb and HR always calling me into the office to Ogle at my dog.

[00:08:58] Anyways, [00:09:00] here's some coffee to keep this guy going. My chances of getting with Carol are going up since my unwanted erections have stopped. Plus I won't get molested by Barb in HR. Again. I did not write that. So if there's anything cancelable in there, please do not at me at monster swag, mic fresh, make dope, fresh.

[00:09:21] I'm sorry. But yeah. Thank you for supporting us financially on the show and thank you for the beautiful work of literature. Yeah.

[00:09:29] Josh: What did I took away from that is we take away boners, which is not ideal. Or is, I don't know what you guys

[00:09:38] Sean: want. You know, we'll leave that up to the Wikimania X truly saw them.

[00:09:43] So would the review out of the way, and the hypothesis is, is in hypothesize in we're going to go ahead and get onto the Wikipedia page. I'm going to read the intro paragraph on Wikipedia. It is pretty long. Okay. So a [00:10:00] copy POS. Is a block of text, which is copied and pasted across the internet by individuals, through online forums and social networking websites.

[00:10:10] Copy pastas are said to be similar. And that's the episode.

[00:10:23] the next one. Oh, so, so truly the Wikipedia was not a full of information, but they did have all their links and resources at the bottom. So I pulled up some links. I found what is said to be the origin, but as with all things on the internet, you know, you don't really ever know the true origin. But copy pasta was said to be originated in 2006 on a website called four CHAM.

[00:10:53] Okay. So Miriam Webster defines copy pasta. Yes, it is a word as of may, 2021. [00:11:00] Wow. This isn't the definition, but this is what they have on their page for copy pasta. So shout out Merriam Webster,

[00:11:09] when you're out and about on the internet, you sometimes see the same thing in multiple places. There's that funny picture of that angry baby again, or the inspirational quotes set against the shot of a Rocky peak emerging from the class. Or that plain text indignant screed about that thing that apparently made several of your Facebook friends, identically, indignant, that stuff, all stuff that's been copied over and over that stuff has a special name.

[00:11:39] Copy, pop. Hmm. Okay. So copy pasta. Where's its origin like a smirk with a Ghafar about to bust loose. It's a play on the term of the, for the old word processing. Standby, copy and paste. So Josh right on the money. Oh copy pasta is [00:12:00] text images, a captioned meme or anything really? That has been of. And pasted in into a new location.

[00:12:08] The paste is one letter off from a culinary staple, which makes it in terms of Marian Webster, it comedic lexical. Good fortune. So pretty much if you ever see a, this happens on Reddit quite a bit is somebody will post something. And then somebody will comment with something that makes absolutely zero sense.

[00:12:30] And then you get a thousand billion up votes and nobody knows why. That's like a thing that happens a lot. So I thought it would be fun to read one of the original copy pastas that got viral. I'm going to go ahead and link this on the discord. John, I would like you to read it. By yourself. I believe you can do this.

[00:12:53] I don't know. It's so low. That's a lot to ask again. We're we're recording this out of [00:13:00] order, John had a tough time reading, but he's going to kill this one. You know what I'm saying? This is full-on redemption. We're getting it. This is called the Navy seal.

[00:13:09] John: Copy pasta. You want me to read it and like character

[00:13:13] Sean: totally up to you.

[00:13:14] I know you're an aspiring voice actor. So use this to your, to its fullest.

[00:13:18] John: Maybe I'm gonna try to go guys ever watched shit. What's that one with Robert Downey,

[00:13:24] Sean: Tropic thunder, Tropic thunder. Oh God. I w I, I will, I will say, yeah, tread lightly. That is but that's the not, what do you mean? What do you mean people?

[00:13:38] What do you

[00:13:39] John: mean? What do you mean?

[00:13:41] Sean: All right. I'm gonna read this out loud. You got this job?

[00:13:45] John: Hold on. I'm squinting right now. Cause I can't see that

[00:13:48] Sean: far. All right. So Jen, just so you guys know, this is one of the original copy pastas from four Chan. It's dated back to 2010. So John is going to read a [00:14:00] dramatic reading of the Navy seal.

[00:14:01] Copy POS.

[00:14:05] John: What the fuck did you just fucking say about me? You little bitch. I'll have, you know, I graduated top of my class in the Navy seals and not been involved in numerous secret rates on Arcata. And I have 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in guerrilla warfare and I'm the top sniper in the entire us armed forces.

[00:14:24] You are nothing to me, but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision. The likes of which has never been seen before. Mark my fucking words. Do you think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the internet, Dick again, fucker.

[00:14:43] Sean: This is excellent. John. You're killing it. My guy, as

[00:14:46] John: we speak, I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA in your IPS being traced right now. So you better prepare for the storm maggot, the storm that wipes out the pathetic little [00:15:00] thing you call your life. You're fucking dead kid. I can be anywhere anytime, and I can kill you in over 700 ways.

[00:15:08] And that's just what my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps. And now we'll use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent. Little shit. If you only could have known what unholy retribution, your little clever comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking son.

[00:15:38] But you couldn't, you didn't and now you're paying the price. You goddamn idiot. I was shit fury all over you.

[00:15:49] Shit.

[00:15:53] All right. Well, shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You're fucking dead kiddo. [00:16:00]

[00:16:00] Sean: I mean, come on,

[00:16:02] Josh: Bravo.

[00:16:03] Sean: Bravo. Thank you. The Oscar goes to. Thank

[00:16:08] Josh: you. That reminds me, that reminds me of like those it was like military LARPers who were like, like, oh, like military gear, but never actually been in the military.

[00:16:18] And then just like PR you know, like those kinds of people that reminds me of

[00:16:22] Sean: that.

[00:16:24] John: I was in the military. I was in the air force. So that doesn't count.

[00:16:29] Sean: That was definitely written by a kid who plays way too much call of duty and got away too into it. Yeah. Especially

[00:16:35] Josh: the, I will shit all over you.

[00:16:38] Sean: You

[00:16:38] John: don't really say shit like that, by the way,

[00:16:43] Sean: my theory what is it? I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it

[00:16:50] John: fucking maggot. That's not like Sergeant slaughter. I don't

[00:16:54] know

[00:16:54] Sean: if you guys were. I was Sergeant slaughter. Ooh. We're bringing [00:17:00] wrestling in the every episode, baby. Okay. So essentially copy pasta is just any meme, anything that could be copied and pasted usually with little to no context.

[00:17:14] Okay. So other other I guess, forms of this. Creepy pasta, which is brief user generated, paranormal stories intended to scare readers. They have facts lore, which is pretty much what a copy pasta would look like if it was circulated by a fax machine. It's also related to the website, know your meme, which is a series that researches and documents, the history of copy pastors and similar content.

[00:17:47] So I have a few more to read, but I got them from Reddit, but before we do that, it's time to make some money. So ads, here we go, baby. Oh yeah. [00:18:00] All right. Jeffrey.

[00:18:06] John: All right. Well, yeah, cause you got to make sure to check out and usually if you don't know what it is, noodly is an audio app for iOS and Android. It picks up web articles about the most trending topics on the web at any given moment and read them to you in a natural human. And for the first time in the history of the internet, the web becomes listable.

[00:18:26] You can browse articles from the top it's you choose, and you can start playing, stop scrolling and start listening. And they have podcasts as well. Explore trending podcasts from over 40 countries. Now our podcasts read it on Wiki is there to download and use Nuessly for free now from www.nuseli.meme or from the link in the description and use our promo code Wiki.

[00:18:49] 2021 that's w one K 1 20 21 that I would also put in the description. And there you can receive a one month free premium

[00:18:58] Sean: subscription.[00:19:00]

[00:19:04] Aaron: So 2021 is upon

[00:19:05] Aaron: us. And instead of flying cars and monkey robot butlers, we have a pandemic. We have media and making every little annoying twit of a child. Think they're gonna be. Famous celebrity because they did some stupid trends and they've seen somebody else doing 9 million times. We have people that are self-entitled and stupid and given a voice through social media, constantly whining about how everybody else is the problem and how everyone else needs fixings.

[00:19:36] We have celebrities lecturing us about how we have to give more so we can elevate everyday. To a better life from the security of their seven bedroom, multimillion dollar estates of politicians, lying to us that they're going to fix the situations we're in, that they created in the first place. And then we've got me having the conversations that a lot of us are thinking, but nobody's talking about, because these things have to be said.

[00:19:58] I had to say at the podcast. [00:20:00] Available, wherever you get your podcasts fix or at www dot. I had to say a podcast.com. Why don't you come listen to what I've got to say?

[00:20:11] And we are back. Is Holcomb Hulkamaniacs copyright trademark. It's over. Got them.

[00:20:23] John: What you gonna do when you fuck up your shot? Don't work yourself

[00:20:28] Sean: into a shoot brother. Alright. Back at it. Yeah. Again with some copy pasta. Okay. So the way my episodes usually. I tried to do the first half, primarily with stuff off of Wikipedia.

[00:20:43] And then my second half, I try to do stuff all off of Reddit. So we learned what copy pasta was during the first half we read the F one of the first viral and notable examples on the Wikipedia page, the Navy seal copy pasta. So [00:21:00] now I'm going to Reddit and luckily Reddit is the place for everything.

[00:21:04] So there is a whole. Subreddit dedicated to copy pasta. Of course, this episode extremely easy for your boy. You know what I'm saying? So I, what I did is I went to you can sort it by top. Sorry, did by top of the month and then top of all time. So this one was written about. 30 days ago, it is called the Sigma mail schedule.

[00:21:33] All right. So Josh hung in all your Canadian glory on the sick. I'm going to ask you to read this one. You are, you are the ultimate grift. You are the grifter king. You are the, the Sigma male.

[00:21:49] Josh: All right. Sigma male schedule. All right. This is not so dissimilar from my schedule. No, no kidding. Oh God. [00:22:00] All right.

[00:22:03] Sigma mail schedule 2:00 AM. Wake up, obviously 2 0 5 cold shower. None of that hot shit. We just do cold. Two 15 breakfast could consisting of almonds.

[00:22:20] Sean: Go on

[00:22:21] Josh: and breast breast milk bottle, Facebook and 50 milligrams of Adderall to 30 begin workout inclined bench plate two plates 12 by 12 with 30 seconds of rest.

[00:22:38] No warmup. I mean warmups for the week. Oh God.

[00:22:45] Sean: Here we go. Keep going.

[00:22:52] Josh: Edging for

[00:22:53] Sean: four hours.

[00:22:59] Oh [00:23:00] my God.

[00:23:03] Josh: Oh, oh my God. That would hurt. Beaten to a mush. Yeah, Jesus 6 45 cold shower. Cause you obviously got to cool off after four hours.

[00:23:20] Okay. 7:00 AM begins. Sprint begin, sprint

[00:23:28] I live over 300 kilometers away. So it's a long sprint. 8:00 AM arrived at work. So an hour of sprinting 8 0 5 get called into boss's office. He knows six, get fired from job for repeat inappropriate comments, predatory behavior

[00:23:47] Sean: like fair

[00:23:49] Josh: eight, 10, definitely fair. Yeah. Eight, 10 sprint back home. Nine and 10:00 AM.

[00:23:56] Lunch, rock Cod berries, foraged on my [00:24:00] way home. So I stopped for four. Small PEs pebbles for digestion and 50 more milligrams of

[00:24:10] nine, 10:00 AM. More edging as punishment. This for discipline 3:00 PM,

[00:24:24] John: 3:00 PM to 2:00 AM.

[00:24:27] Sean: Yo, this man started edging at 9:10 AM and then

[00:24:31] Josh: finished at 3:00 PM. Then what is that? Five six hours. That's almost six hours, six hours,

[00:24:40] Sean: 10, 10 hours of your day.

[00:24:47] Josh: Okay. Does he get fired from work every day?

[00:24:49] Sean: I don't know. Maybe this is just his optimal day.

[00:24:53] Josh: No, no. I, I like to think that he runs into work every day and then they're like, no. John. We told [00:25:00] you this, you can't, you can't just keep coming back here.

[00:25:08] Sean: We'll get me involved in this shit.

[00:25:09] Josh: No, no, this is

[00:25:10] Sean: every, every bad thing I make you guys read. I will always make sure there's a John in it. That way we always get the wicked maniacs confused as to if we're talking about John or somebody else.

[00:25:22] Josh: And if you forget, Sean, I'll make sure to put it.

[00:25:25] Sean: Gotcha. I can edit it in.

[00:25:27] No problem. We'll just

[00:25:29] Josh: perfect. I'll just send you a clip of me saying John, a bunch of different times, and you can just use that. However you. That

[00:25:35] Sean: is, you know, you are a pro Josh. I know, I know.

[00:25:39] Josh: I quit. Like, like we said, in episode one or whatever, you're you're contractually obligated to be.

[00:25:46] Sean: Yeah, you do.

[00:25:48] You hate to see it. Ah boy. Okay. So before I read this last one, this is a completely up to my two co-hosts. Is [00:26:00] this is edging a if you know, you know, type of deal or should we explicitly explain if you know, you know? Okay. Yeah. Yeah, for sure. I won't let y'all decide. As soon as it came out of my mouth, I was like, we've done enough this episode.

[00:26:16] Yeah. John's next episode will be on that. My next episode is

[00:26:24] Josh: edging as the.

[00:26:27] Sean: Oh my gosh.

[00:26:30] John: Oh my

[00:26:31] Sean: God. So we've kicked Sean off the show. It's just going to be Josh and John from now. No, no, we need this. Yeah, we need this. We need this. Oh my God. Okay. So I met y'all I made y'all read something. So it's only fair.

[00:26:46] I also read one. It's probably the least. So this is worst one. Probably. Oh, well, I mean, y'all gave me the worst one. Yeah. Yours is pretty crazy. Okay. So [00:27:00] before what do you call it? We go on, I thought, you know, we should probably give credit to, I don't know if this is the person that wrote it, because again, copy.

[00:27:11] Could be from anywhere, just people claiming they wrote it, but this is the Navy seal copy pasta was written by an anonymous user on the pasta board on four Chan. Should I say ID now? Probably shouldn't say therefore chain ID, but for the the Sigma mail schedule that was written by Reddit user Jorma.

[00:27:34] GaN drove so nice. If you're wondering who edges for nine hours of their day, give a shout out to Jor Mon GaN drove.

[00:27:46] Josh: All right. If you're his friend, maybe reach out to see how he's doing.

[00:27:51] Sean: Yeah. To give a check out to him again 30 days cannot be. He might not be alive, bro. A lot of edging [00:28:00] that's a two, one would say way too much

[00:28:03] Josh: agile, 300 hours in a month.

[00:28:05] Actually, if my math,

[00:28:09] John: I can't even do

[00:28:09] Sean: the damn man. Holy shit. Okay. So this one I cannot give credit to, because it is deleted, the user was deleted. But this is a. A copy pasta written about 11 months ago. So here we go. Title is called Imad, the asshole for killing my political arrival to win the election.

[00:28:32] Okay, here we go. Using an alt account because if people trace this back to me, my reelection chances might get hurt. I a 74 year old male and finishing up my first term as president of the United States of America. Let me tell you. America is an incredible country, probably one of the best countries in the whole nation.

[00:28:54] As my reelection comes closer and closer. My opponent sleepy Joe has been [00:29:00] leading in approval ratings and I began to get worried. Let me tell you I am the best at being worried. Just ask anybody in my administration. I get worried like no other presence. Anyways. I was considering putting sleepy Joe to sleep for good, which I think is a service not only to his family, but also this nation as a whole, I was going to ask my good pal Putin to borrow some of that poison.

[00:29:28] He's using to silence the lib tards in his own country. So Reddit am I the asshole edit? I'm not Donald Trump to please stop saying I'm Donald. Edit three pitches. I got the nuclear launch codes, keep testing me and calling me Donald Trump. And you could say bye-bye to the Caribbean and it for audio end quote.

[00:29:55] So

[00:29:55] Josh: some of the answers to the MIT,

[00:29:59] Sean: [00:30:00] let's read some of the top comments here. Okay.

[00:30:02] Josh: Fuck. That's good.

[00:30:04] Sean: Did you kill him or not? You dipshit and the post title you said for killing my political rival, which implies you've already done it. But in your posts, you said I was considering putting sleepy Joe to sleep for.

[00:30:15] Good. So that means you thought about doing it, but didn't do it yet. So did you kill him or not? No matter what the answer to that question is not the asshole, your election, your rules, buddy. Yeah. I hate to see that in the comments.

[00:30:30] Josh: I love it. I like the clarification. So

[00:30:34] Sean: you kill him or not, not the asshole, your rival your rules.

[00:30:39] Yeah. Oh, this one is good, but I mean, I think for the podcast format, it is a. Probably a hard to explain, but I'll try my best. This is pretty much just the top comment is riddled with emojis. Kind of like how old people will comment on Facebook. Gotcha. Okay. So you using an alt account [00:31:00] because of, oh no, this is just straight up the exact copy possible, but with a thousand emojis in it, so, oh yeah.

[00:31:09] Literally emoji.

[00:31:12] John: To type it as all

[00:31:13] Sean: emojis. So it's, it's, it's pretty much written out exactly the same, but there's an emoji after almost every word or phrase yeah. That you hate to see it. That's the pasta, the ultimate copy pasta. Ooh. Okay. So I. I'm scared to read any more of these comments, to be honest with you, it gets dark.

[00:31:38] I bet.

[00:31:38] John: No, no.

[00:31:44] Sean: I think, I think and the spirit of the copy, pasta posts, you know, where it's very clearly Donald Trump and people are, people are just, you know, acting like how people. Who actually liked him would act is what most of the comments are. [00:32:00] So I don't think these posters are truly believing that he's not the asshole.

[00:32:03] They're also in good jest, making fun of I hope we hope.

[00:32:09] Josh: I fucking hope so.

[00:32:10] Sean: Yeah. But the internet is a wild place. So before we end the episode, I thought it would be a good idea. Oh God, not again. I thought it might be a good idea to altogether read something. Just like my previous episode. Oh shit.

[00:32:30] My

[00:32:30] Josh: girlfriend just walked to hear this live.

[00:32:34] Sean: Oh, is she there with you?

[00:32:36] Josh: She's yeah, she's she's just over the side there reading. So she gets to listen to us live. Reading, whatever the house is going

[00:32:44] Sean: to be.

[00:32:49] Oh, I see. John, John has read the title. Before we get into this please let your girlfriend know that I am so sorry for what I have made you do for them. [00:33:00] I don't know, 30 minutes. And what I am about to make you do

[00:33:03] Josh: as well. Sean says, he's sorry for everything. I don't know, but it asking me if I'm 18 plus

[00:33:12] Sean: close your eyes.

[00:33:14] Oh my God. Okay. I believe Josh just read the title as

[00:33:21] Josh: well. I did. I did just read that.

[00:33:25] Sean: All right. So just like before we're going to switch off paragraphs, right? We're going to go me then John, then Josh to finish it off. How long has there we go? Well, in both the titles,

[00:33:38] Josh: this is the one is, is

[00:33:40] Sean: yeah. We'll, we'll learn how long it is. All right. So this is written by username, cactus underscore. 33 0 1. The title is called today. I fucked up by revealing my cock length to my family. Jesus, what the fuck? [00:34:00] John John said that I am possibly the glue that holds this podcast together.

[00:34:06] And I'm also the single reason why this podcast will. And so I'm really just pushing my limits here. WCA maniacs, if you really do indeed hate this stuff. Let me know, we interact pretty well on social media. So if if you get to this point and you're like, this is, this is the line

[00:34:26] Josh: five episode taking

[00:34:28] Sean: a stand, Hey, to be fair, they, they know they could skip mine if that's not their vibe.

[00:34:34] But if this is your vibe and you enjoy hearing that. Regrettably read disgusting material from the internet then. Yeah. You know, the fucking vibes you were here for a good time. Not a long time. All right. So for a long time, shout out to champagne, Papi Drake, can they another Canadian legend besides Josh

[00:34:57] Josh: being him?

[00:34:59] Same [00:35:00] to you.

[00:35:01] Sean: Yeah. For when you join our Patrion, you'll get a Champaign, poppy, himself reading this exact copy pastor. So please subscribe Patrion slash it doesn't exist. Okay. So, yep. Are you guys ready? I think so.

[00:35:18] John: I mean, do we have a choice, but let's do this.

[00:35:21] Sean: You guys said, Hey Sean, Sean, you can format your episodes.

[00:35:25] However you want. Let it be as wild and different as ours. So it could be the you know, the, the. The weird episode in our, in our Oreo setup, you know what I'm saying? We'll do that whole, and we're talking about cough link.

[00:35:41] I made, I made a hole with my hands. I tried to make like a, like a giant Oreo, but John saw it and rightfully so saw it or something. Okay. Okay. Let's get it to it guys. All right. So here's the dealio. I have a [00:36:00] large Italian fan. With many cousins, uncles, aunts, nephews, et cetera, every once in a while. Okay.

[00:36:07] Wait if By now, you know where this story is going. So, you know, this is if today I fucked up by really by revealing my cock link to my family is something you don't want to listen to. You can go ahead and just skip maybe all right. Rest of the episode. So before I get back into it, this is, this is another warning to jump off if that's not your vibe, but if it is your vibe, We're into it.

[00:36:32] All right. So every once a day, no, I'll, we'll all gather up to celebrate the anniversary of our great grandparents wedding, a special occasion marking the creation of our family. And they're long gone now, but it's the memory that counts. And we celebrate by cooking a feast for the ages. Rivaling Thanksgiving.

[00:36:54] John: Now upon the Eve of this anniversary, all the boys as us men and the [00:37:00] family affectionately call ourselves gather up and go to a famous local bar in downtown. You only accept cash Boston. They only accept cash, very old school feel to the place, but it makes for some great stories. Usually the bliss, the place is a blast with all sorts of banter and drunken shenanigans.

[00:37:21] But not last

[00:37:22] Sean: night. Oh God.

[00:37:24] Josh: Now, before I divulge the details, I ought to give some background as to how I fit into this family. Okay. Where my father and I are well integrated into the family. My mother is quite the outsider. She comes from wealthier, Southern origins around the mid Atlantic part of the country because of this.

[00:37:41] She's always viewed the family as working class with their posh accent, sticking out like a sore thumb at gatherings of Bostonian. By extension. I've always felt that I've had to prove to my family that I can hang with them, so to speak. And in a way I worry that they see my mom as the woman who pulled my dad away from their tight knit [00:38:00] circle.

[00:38:02] Sean: Here we go. And again Josh, since you mentioned that your girlfriend is currently in the room with you, I'm just getting the mental image of her. Slowly realizing while we read this, like what the fuck is happening and only hearing a third of a second apologies, which may or may not be worse, to be honest,

[00:38:22] Josh: we'll see what paragraphs I read

[00:38:24] Sean: for your case.

[00:38:25] I'm hoping you get the more sane ones and not the two crazy ones, but let's get back into it. All right. So now let's cut back to last night at the. Laughs drinks and stories all around the bar. As we enjoy ourselves, my cousin Vinny invites me and some of the younger guys to play truth or drink at this point.

[00:38:46] I'm already quite drunk, but except the fun of it. A few questions in and Vinnie asked me how big is your Dick? I know you're packing a huge one.

[00:38:58] John: John, of course my [00:39:00] other cousins all grown with embarrassment, but I foolishly answer instantly unaware of the ramifications of my response.

[00:39:08] Josh: Five inches. I'd say, I say to competently, suddenly all eyes are on you.

[00:39:14] Oh, my girlfriend just stared

[00:39:15] Sean: at me.

[00:39:19] Please give us the commentary of all her reactions to this, because that is

[00:39:23] Josh: truly the unofficial fourth member.

[00:39:28] Sean: Exactly. Alright, drink. I know you're bullshitting me. Man says Vinny with a twinge of nervous angsty in his voice. I'm serious.

[00:39:38] John: VIN. That's all I got.

[00:39:41] Sean: Ha

[00:39:44] truly a pro with the ha I appreciate

[00:39:47] Josh: it. That was good. Dead silence. I gaze across the bar to see my entire family looking in shock and awe at my response Vinnie attempts to get everyone focused back on the game and everyone presumes at a quieter tempo, but I knew that I had just [00:40:00] majorly fucked

[00:40:00] Sean: up after leaving the bar.

[00:40:03] My uncle Paul pulls me aside, puts both hands on my shoulders. Kit, please tell me you're just fucking around about your cock size.

[00:40:13] John: No, Paul Jesus. What the fuck is your problem? I say,

[00:40:17] Sean: oh no, I

[00:40:17] Josh: got the worst parts. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry, John. Don't you know it, everyone in this family is packing

[00:40:27] Sean: batch logs.

[00:40:30] Josh: I'm on the smaller side. It's around

[00:40:34] Sean: seven.

[00:40:38] Josh: She looks very shocked.

[00:40:43] Sean: Oh

[00:40:44] Josh: God.

[00:40:45] Sean: Oh, I'm so sorry.

[00:40:51] All right, here we go back at it. So what, why the hell does penis size matter to you so much? I'm [00:41:00] starting to get worried at this point. I've never seen Paul look at me with such intensity.

[00:41:04] John: Matter to me. It matters to the whole damn fat. Cock size is more than a number. It quantifies your entire personality.

[00:41:12] You can't call yourself a member of this family. If you're walking around with a fucking baby carrier between your

[00:41:16] Sean: legs,

[00:41:23] John: not a long paragraph.

[00:41:31] Josh: My third time for me, my wife, my uncle went on to explain the history of this, this family and how the men found success through leveraging their superior. Both literally secretively. According to him, my dad was somewhat of a legend with a massive 10 inch cannon, apparently doing a 200 meter dash in high school

[00:41:58] Sean: enlarging.[00:42:00]

[00:42:11] oh my God, Josh. I really did not plan it out to where you have the worst parents.

[00:42:16] He wanted to believe you were at 10 inch meet. Can

[00:42:20] John: 10 inch

[00:42:20] Josh: meet cannon enlarge?

[00:42:24] Sean: Oh, that's his thing. His wife,

[00:42:32] Josh: he performed a pelvic a pelvic to win the race. I felt, I always felt like I never lived up to my father's athletic record, but now I knew that my Shork came short and more than one way. Okay,

[00:42:46] Sean: good God. So how could my dad's cock be so big and might be so small one. I had to invest. You

[00:42:54] Josh: get one goddamn sentence.

[00:42:58] Sean: You are, I can read the second one. [00:43:00] Maybe it'll off. I'll shoot. You I'll read

[00:43:06] John: penis endowment correlates with genes and both the X and Y chromosomes. Meaning that both my mother and father's genetics are responsible. My father's side obviously is known for their legendary sausages. So I knew I had to speak

[00:43:19] Sean: with him.

[00:43:20] Josh: She was incredibly reluctant to describe her male family members.

[00:43:24] Genitalium to me, for some reason dot, dot, dot odd. I knew I had to investigate. So I called some of my cousins and uncles from that side. It turns out the family had, has relatively average size penis size, but all larger than mine compared to combine, they average about six inches. She is doesn't look at me

[00:43:49] Sean: again.

[00:43:49] This is a, give me full blame on this one, guys. Okay. Here's what makes no sense. If my dad's side has an [00:44:00] average of eight inches and my mom's side has an average of six inches, why don't I fall within that range? I suspected my mother's hesitancy to speak on the matter indicated a darker secret. So I went.

[00:44:13] I have all the purist paradise and I am so sorry.

[00:44:18] John: My mom was friends with a man. She knew from law school named Brian and I always suspect that she might have had a thing for him. I reached out to talk and he gladly, oh

[00:44:28] Sean: my God.

[00:44:33] Josh: Over the phone. I asked him. So how big is your car? Imagine having the confidence to ask someone that. A stranger don't really know.

[00:44:47] Sean: All right. My cock, ah, unfortunately I was born with a rather small three inch cock, but it gets the job done. It's about average in my family.

[00:44:57] John: Bingo. What lies in between three [00:45:00] and six, four and a half.

[00:45:02] Ryan was my father, but before I had a chance to ask him the phone line disconnect,

[00:45:07] Josh: my father stands across from me holding the phone cord in his head. He had been on the other line and must've figured it out.

[00:45:16] Sean: I always knew, he said with a solemn look in his eye, he socked away and retreated to his room, feeling unworthy, to face the rest of the face.

[00:45:24] John: I realize now that I needed to at least make amends with my cousins, they might not be able to respect my cock on size, but maybe I can demonstrate the skill and speed of my cock.

[00:45:35] Josh: Oh good. The dinner party was about to start. My mother and father had clearly been arguing and didn't show up, nobody bothered to look for me.

[00:45:44] And when they did catch my eye, I only saw a distinct.

[00:45:48] Sean: I realized now was the chance and stood up on the table. Jesus Christ.

[00:45:54] John: I challenge anybody. Who's mad enough to a sword fight. I declared whipping my smaller [00:46:00] clock.

[00:46:00] Josh: At first I was met with silence, but then Vinny steps up with rage in his eyes.

[00:46:06] Sean: Tough talk for us fellow with a small car.

[00:46:09] John: He joined me on the table, summoning his terrifying nine inch meat penetrator we assumed the guard position out was five inches shorter from a fair fight. So I had to play defensively.

[00:46:20] Sean: He

[00:46:21] Josh: charged me with his penis in his hand, clearly underestimating my maneuverability. I dodged and landed three quick jobs with the tip of my penis shaft, but I chambered it as a pantsed and managed to strike at the balls. Vinnie was down, but soon the rest of my family

[00:46:42] there, Cox I'm prepared to engage in all that melee.

[00:46:48] Sean: Oh, my God. Fourth apologies from me.

[00:46:51] Josh: She stopped. That's good. That's good. She's just used to it now.

[00:46:57] Sean: Okay. The [00:47:00] smell of musty dicks filled the air. As men took their sides on the battlefield. Some came to defend me, admiring my valor in single combat with Vinny while others came to Avention soon, a front-line emerged reminiscent of the pike and shot warfare of the early modern period men on the front, pushed and pulled with their cocks to make ground while occasionally allow.

[00:47:23] Allowing for volleys of come to fly across the room as artists.

[00:47:30] John: The battle was intense. Casualties began to stack up and it looked like my side was going to collapse. Oh, sorry,

[00:47:37] Sean: Josh. Then

[00:47:39] Josh: my father came down 10 inch cock in hand.

[00:47:43] Sean: You may not be my son, but you'll always be my boy

[00:47:48] John: here. My allies charged rallying, our fallen comrades.

[00:47:52] I'd never seen a man cock fight like my father before he uses massive schlong. What the fuck is that word?[00:48:00]

[00:48:02] Sean: sweetheart.

[00:48:04] John: The massive slot, like, cause this is way Lander cutting down

[00:48:06] to

[00:48:07] Sean: three Cox. Soon,

[00:48:09] Josh: the battle ended with Vinnie's allies, rendering a defeat. The room was covered in sweat, dripping from wall and ceiling

[00:48:19] Sean: Cod. Oh, man, I really am sorry. A couple more. I don't know where I stand with. My family currently many have learned to accept me, but I'm sure it will take years before the rest consider it.

[00:48:36] Who knows how many wars this family will fight before peace has had, and it's all my fault too long.

[00:48:44] I

[00:48:44] John: didn't read a reveal. My cock link to my family, which escalated into a massive one.

[00:48:50] Sean: The end. Holy shit.

[00:48:53] Josh: That was a intense to say the least,

[00:48:57] Sean: oh my God. Truly no words. Again, [00:49:00] at any point, wicked maniacs want this madness to stop.

[00:49:07] I, I, I can and we'll stop it, but if you want to keep it going I can, and also we'll do that as well. So

[00:49:17] John: every other. Oh, my gosh. You know what, it's funny. You should have started before I did, because I did warn to the episode six. So there's a lot of penis references. I didn't know you were going to stoop down this level.

[00:49:29] Yeah, by that this was way more than last week.

[00:49:32] Sean: Yeah, I really leading up to this. Well, actually, no, like three stores had a penis jokes in it, so that's on me. That's on me. Yeah. I mean, I, I truly am appreciative that you guys read that with me.

[00:49:45] Josh: You guys could've said no.

[00:49:46] Sean: Let the record show, you guys could have said no.

[00:49:48] I didn't know that. Well, just Josh out here, sweat out of balls for real, right. I am. So proud of you on multiple levels for being able to read that in [00:50:00] front of your significant other. That's so

[00:50:02] Josh: kudos to you, Josh apologies. She just looks surprised.

[00:50:08] Sean: Okay. That's good. Yeah. That's good

[00:50:10] John: concern. I would have been concerned, but surprise.

[00:50:14] Josh: We can work with that part of it. So she doesn't really know.

[00:50:19] Sean: I'll give her the background. Yeah. You can just forget about it actually.

[00:50:27] All right. But I think that's it for me. So John, Josh we'll, we'll go ahead and end the episode with some plugs. So, John, what do you got? My guy. I have nothing. Oh,

[00:50:46] John: But Hey, just, you know, John like this, actually, this is actually like I said earlier, this, these episodes are actually kind of like fun for us just because we kind of get out of our character a little [00:51:00] more. I mean, granted, a lot of it's very, hopefully, hopefully our Wiki maniacs. Addicted to this. Oh let's just thank you.

[00:51:09] Thank you. But, but yeah, man, just as a quick plug I don't really have any shows to plug, but I do want to say thank you to a lot of for sticking around. And hopefully it doesn't stick to your

[00:51:21] Sean: thighs. I'll go there.

[00:51:22] John: No, but just want to say thank you for everyone for supporting. If we haven't been canceled by like episode 10, I'd really be happy.

[00:51:32] Sean: Truly. Truly. If, if you want to cancel us at all, really, it's just been my episode. So if you, if you just skip my episodes, I think you'll be okay. But you enjoy the episodes. Thank you. Now, Ms. Day. John plugs.

[00:51:48] Josh: So other than this podcast, I'm on let's start a call podcast where I talk about cults cult leaders and how the cults form and operate.

[00:51:56] Yeah. So if you want to support me, you can go to, let's start a call wherever you [00:52:00] listen to podcasts. Other than that, yeah, I appreciate the support for the first week and hopefully into the future. Yeah, if you love Shawn's episodes, definitely share them around, clip them as much as you can.

[00:52:11] It. Will get canceled on or taken down on tick tock. That's all I know.

[00:52:18] Sean: Oh God. But yeah. I guess my plugs wanna give a shout out to the other podcast I'm on. I also host shots and thoughts comes out on the same day Mondays. We learn a new topic every week. We take multiple pills, multiple shots.

[00:52:33] And then we play games resulting in more shots of liquor, and then we make the drunkest person give a drunken recap. So you can find us anywhere on social media at S N T P O D. And yeah, give that a listen if you enjoy my stuff. I, wasn't gonna say there's probably less penis jokes on that, but I, I cannot promise you anything like can't put it down like that.

[00:52:54] So yeah, just. Thank you for listening. If you got this far if you [00:53:00] didn't just know, you can skip my episodes going forward, my feelings won't be hurt at all. Yeah. So make sure you follow us read it on Wiki on Twitter, Instagram, all the social media Tik TOK. We're big on Tik TOK when we're not getting our videos taken down.

[00:53:14] We're at Reddit on Wiki pod on all of those. Also, if you want to support the show financially, like I said, We also have a buy me a coffee. You can do that. Buy me a coffee.com/reddit on Wiki pot. No pod on that one. Just buy me a coffee.com/read it on Wiki. So that's it for this episode. Again, apologies for what you had to hear.

[00:53:43] I mean I love you guys. We've had a really fun week one of the launch. Yeah. It seems like you guys are enjoying it as much as we're enjoying making it. So shout out to all you guys and hopefully you come back to listen to other episodes not hosted by me or hosted by me, whatever you want.[00:54:00]

[00:54:00] Yeah. I have a lot of nervous energy right now because I just met, I had, I hosted two episodes back to back with extremely graphic materials.

[00:54:08] Josh: We appreciate it a lot more. John let's hope for

[00:54:12] Sean: sure. Hopefully, hopefully I'm sure they do. So, you know, That's the that's the the beauty of our show is we have three different hosts that each host a different episode each week. So if you like one host, particularly, that's awesome. If you like all three of us together, even better, even better.

[00:54:34] Give yourself a cookie for that one, you know?

[00:54:39] But that's it for this week. We go

[00:54:41] John: and do it Jews Shawnee boy.

[00:54:45] Sean: But that's it for this week's episode. Thank you guys again for listening. We'll see you guys next week. Goodbye.

[00:54:57] Josh: Perfect.[00:55:00]